Waitingggg

Dear Diary,

UGHHHHH! I have freakin nervous feeling anxious butterflies!

And its just over waiting for a response from B. I keep clicking my email looking, nothing yet….

I guess Im afraid so its the fear, but I dont even have a response yet? But Im just afraid it will be a sucky response? A response from the past?

I asked him if he wanted to come over tonight?

I told him in another email I had plans sat with a girlfriend.

So I wrote back and told him to save me Sunday and would he come over tonight?

Just waiting for the response….

Cmoooooooooonnnnn,,, nuthin yet, bleh! And what sucks is with his work mail server some emails dont make it through, so if I dont hear anything shortly Ill write him back again.

I havent been feeling to hot lately, I think its just my eating habits, I was so mad I forgot my lunch stuff this AM, and I was already running late, running on empty for gas, kids were late a few min to school,,, I had no time to run home again, so my yogurt, and my smoothie drink is gonna sit out all day and go bad and to waste,, bleh.

I was so pissed I forgot it, this morning was hurried, and my oldest forgot to feed the dog! So I got down the street and had to turn around when we were already running late, dog didnt get fed yesterday, it was pouring rain and he was out in the dog house, so it was all nice out this AM and I told son to do it, he didnt, poor dog,, so I ran back..

Eeesh, you know how its usually a person keeping things together, its usually MOM.

Brush your teeth, do your homework, pick up your laundry, go blow your nose, go clip your nails, clean up your room, go fix your hair…..

All those constant reminders that my mom did with me…. take your vitamins, be good today at school for your teachers, Dont talk to your brother that way, dont run in the house….

And last night Mom had my oldest, so it was me and youngest and hes all good and quiet and there was nobody for him to feed off of. He just goes berserk, hes in constant competition with his older brother, and you realize how quiet it is when ONE is not present. WOW. How life with one child is so drastically different then with 2. I only had a small taste of that. My oldest, When he was a baby, just he and I, His brother was born just after he turned 2.

:::Checking email:::: Sigh,, no response yet….

I just wrote up a letter to their Dad. I made copies of the dentist bills, and his portion. I also told him about Little one and Basketball, how much it is and that he needs his own ball.

I then wrote….. “I have not recieved any child support. You last paid me $100 the first week of December.”

I dont really ever tell him hes not paid. All through the terrible times and all. I let the attorney say it to him. I knew if I called him up or said “Hey whats the deal?” Hed just argue or say some garbage that would upset me or some lame excuse or reason. So I dont waste my breath. But Im getting fucking sick and tired of his bragging as of late about purchases and things.

I will probably take the DA paperwork with me to work tomm. Go through what I have left to complete. If Ex did buy a new vehicle. I need to get make, model, and lic plate #. So gonna tell Mom to keep an eye out and try to eye it when he picks up kids stuff, otherwise Ill have to get it when he brings the kids back.

DA wants that info.

Ok, just checked email again, no response, so I just wrote to see if he got it….

Grrr dangit…..

::Tapping fingers::

Well nothing yet, will write more when I hear back I guess….