Jealous,Competitive, Manipulative
Dear Diary,
Got up to see my children this AM since I got in last night they were fast asleep and I peeked at them both. So this AM I hugged and told them I love them. Of course they want to share their newest toy purchases with me. I just smile and say Cool. Its really hard for me. But I do it. But inside I just see this is their Dads way of showing love. Fly in for a day or 2, spent money on them then leave. It does make me sad that he doesnt know how to be much more to them that. But this is once again WHY I AM NOT WITH HIM. I also took my youngest to my room to show him the answering machine. I showed him the automated message and explained it to him( See last diary entry about this) I also said “Who did Daddy say it was?” Not in a grilling manner but non chalant, but my youngest just said “I dont know, he didnt say anything” I wont pry into them more than that, I have the message on the machine to prove he did say something. And my 6 yr old has no idea what Lover means.
Then my youngest says to me “MOMMY! We got to watch Terminator 2!” My heart sank. My Ex was constantly watching rated R movies at home with the sound up loud when we were together and I was always bothered by this. Im a firm believer in protecting little childrens ears and eyes as best as one can. And movies and television is a big area for me that I watch with them. So to have a 6 and 7 yr old watch that movie really upset me hearing that. And I guess most of all, My Ex knows this. So it just feels as if he doesnt care at this point what he does. He also rented my favorite vehicle the kids informed me on his trip here. See, I know this man well. He will not stop trying to make jabs at me until he seeks some help. So to rent my favorite vehicle is a jab, others may not understand the significance. But I do. He knows how badly I want one, he knows the man Ive dated has one. Hes competitive and manipulative. So once again he is displaying this. But thank God I didnt see him at all. I just get all the talk from the kids who of course want to tell me all the money spent on them. I just smile, listen, and ask them if they had a good time, then make notes for my records for legal matters. I just hate that he does these things. And I hate that he doesnt have regard when hes with the children. 🙁