Good Men

Dear Diary,

Annette said 2 things that have been floating through my head ever since her comment.

“How and where do you find these kind of men? First of all you must find within yourself the true belief that you are priceless and are worthy of such a guy – and you must be the kind of woman – and emotionally mature to attract them.”

and

“”A man is only as big as what makes him angry.”

For example, the things that make my husband angry are cruelty to animals and children, prejudice, and lying. ”

Wonderful words shared. I try to think and ask myself “Do I feel worthy and priceless for such a good man?” and to be truthfully honest, I believe yes I do and that I have a lot to offer a man. I think my thoughts go like this, “Is there such a man?” then the comment of “I must be that kind of woman” and this is where my thoughts play out. So what type of woman do I project?

Yet I do meet men in real life, I keep the guard rails up high and dont let people close. But for example the coworker. I tell myself often “Why cant you just like him?” I do like him, and its like the one area lacking is physical attraction. Its just so not there, but I think he is the sweetest thing in the world. Its a strange combination.

He is the man who leaves me cards for holidays, who asks me at work “How are you doing everyday?” He isnt pushy or aggressive, he hasnt even asked me out. I knew at a time he was hinting at me for something, but I never responded and he never pushed it. We have so much in common on lifes views, that its freaky at times, down to foods we dont like, or political and world views on many topics. Its not that we have everything a like, but some big hurdles are broke thru when one does have a common ground in some ways.

What do I want?

To laugh, to feel safe, to be carefree and relaxed, to feel safe with someone around my children, to look up to a man for admirable qualities in his work, family, the way he treats those around him.