Thanks Mom :)

Dear Diary,

Well I just spoke to my Mom, been trying to call her since yesterday.

Told her what was up with little one as I inform her and vent to her a lot.

Shes going to take youngest overnight Sat, WHEW!

Thank the Lord.

She had planned to do this his next weekend home for his birthday, take him out for some one on one time. I told her he cant play with the neighbor this weekend but its okay to do stuff with Grandma, It will be good for him. And it will be good for me and the oldest to be alone together, hes getting very overshadowed in all this, and hes been very good lately.

Its just dawned on me how much attn oldest had gotten with the boil and all he had on his chin, and the days home, dr visits, and Dad draining it and taking care of it all. Plus little one went to see his Dad, Dad told him hed take him rock climbing for his bday, but he didnt, he watched the Superbowl and little one didnt get taken out or anything special, his Dad said “Next time”

Who knows whats up. I sit here and beat myself up for getting to angry with him, for not being with him enough, etc etc. And I have to stop doing that, and just do my best.

Until I get some solid concrete reason for the behavior what can I do?

I told Mom about the teacher thing, my youngest was mad when I said I was going to his teacher, he was embarrassed and angry, which is a good thing, he needs to feel something, I need to do whatever I can to get through to him this stuff has to end.

So Im emailing with B, I asked him to come out this weekend, I miss him, I sorta need him, and I realized when Cute Gym Guy wanted to kiss me yesterday and I didnt allow it, how I immediatly thought of B.

So B is coming out tonight, and sooo heres the cute emails we wrote back and forth……..

From B

See things arent so bad.There are answers and while it might take some dragging and kicking and screaming in the end there will be some improvement.Drugs are not exactly the answer, but at the same time they are also a tool that may improve his situation… who knows. Time will tell, and there is room for some trial and error as well. You dont always have to have the out right perfect answer for this. It will be a case of experimenting as well.Dialing it in will take some time and some error is bound to occur. Just have to hang in there and make it work =0).
You may wish to sit down and start to disspell Little ones Ideas about him being worthless as a whole becasue he doesnt do homework one night…Its an early start in irrational behavior.You might do well to read the book I am reading. I will finish it soon and let you read it. there are some things in it that i think might help.. or at least seem to be in synch with how things are going. I cant really explain it but I see parrellels…
I am here to help out if i can ya know. =0)
I dunno. I think its easy, in our Mcdonalds everything is easy and fast culture taing the time and effort to work out hard problems is disliked. when a quick fix so I can jump back into the rat race solution comes along everyone and thier mom jumps on board. Why take your time and do it right when you can quick fix it in 1/1000 the effort and CHEAP TOO( only casues minor unkown side effects….)!!! Its prolly toxins, and hormones etc. 100 years ago you were just an” A@@hole” and Pa just beat you senseless. Now we have differant methods and acceptable things, we live in a trasitional time. Where society has evolved more as far as “enlightenened thinking”,Technology etc.Just insane. We live in a world that is dehumanized, youth is just becoming an accelereted training for the rat race burn out life style.Pressure begins in the womb…. and ya wonder why people want to drop out and not play the game?
Tough

Me
“Babe,
Will you come up to see me this weekend?
I miss you..”

B
“=0)
I would love to. When is good for you?Tonight? Would coming up tommorrow night after work be too late? =0)

and see all i wanna hear is ” I miss you so much spend the weekend with me except for when you have to go to work ” =0P~~~~

Me
“Sorry I was all afraid to even type I miss you, cause when I used to send
that you said it was like hands grating on a chalk board, so I was
apprehensive to say it….”

B
“ I know . we have so much stuff to undo sometimes huh? Tough.
I am glad that you miss me. makes me feel good, no chockin, chalk nail draggin etc. Just nice to hear =0). Doesnt sound so clingy for some reason

Loves ya “