Letters from the Guys

Dear Diary,

Morning. I woke up last night. I was having a REALLY long bad dream about seeing my Ex. I cant really recall what was happening now. But I remember when I woke up I was realizing it was a dream and releived.

Got to work this AM to find another response from him. I wrote him back last night and stressed that this be peaceful, that it be solely about the kids and that it is just us and them. Here is his response…

Victoria,

“LOL… your to funny, I DONT WANT TO FIGHT WITH ANY MORE!!!!!!! Gesh, lol dont you think it’s time to move on? You have your life I have mine! Yeah so it’s about the boys, but it’s about us too, what are we going to be like my grandpa and grandma? Victoria the boys think that if we see each other that we are going to fight! that is pretty sad, Our youngest said somthing last weekend that was so sad… He said Dad, you and Mom wont fight if you see each other in cars will you? I told him Mom and Dad dont need to fight…..

Victoria I dont have your cell phone number.”

Well I wrote back a brief email. I have to watch myself because I find i just want to get drawn in and point out WHY things are the way they are. But then I have to remind myself not to waste time and energy doing so.

Its just the way he responds? Grrrrr. The kids have witnessed FIGHTING in the past because he cant watch his temper and cursed and yelled in front of them. Thats why I no longer meet him for pickups. I tried to invite the ex early this year to a open house and when he saw me he ran in the house and hid, the kids had to go in and talk to him and he refused to go. If I called his cell phone he would scream at me and say DONT CALL ME. And when I do try to correspond he says “Your lawyer has to talk to me” or whatever shit hes pulling at the moment. Yet he writes this letter saying he doesnt want to fight? And grow up. Its like I just have to read it and think “What on earth?” Its more like everything he is saying is what he should be telling HIMSELF.

Also he doesnt know my cell?? Haha, he bought me the cell phone last year, he picked the phone number! Which is off one number from his cell number. And the very phone he used to call me on when he had the kids on weekend visitations and he would harass me and B’s house. So what that is about? Duh?

Its just frustrating that he is so clueless or in such denial that he cant even see he has created things to turn into the way that they have. If I didnt have all these things written up, done is protective ways then he would walk all over me and continue to abuse me. Now I am preventing it. But I need to grow up for setting boundaries? Ummm wake up buddy?

I got a email this AM from B, it was sweet….

“Good morning.

::hugggz::

I really do miss you. Life is pretty shitty right now

to be honest. this being stuck and having to rely on

people i dont really feel i can count on licks dog

ass. And topping it all off with not having enough

time to really sit down and work on my car sucks too.

Blah. I hate this. Somehow it will all come together.

I just have no idea how.

::shrug::

well loves ya babe hope you have a nice day

Loves ya lots n lots