Gonna See Him Soon

Dear Diary,

Well my Ex will be working here thursday at my job. I havent seen him since July? And that was just at the court house. Its amazing thinking about how much I havent seen him in person. Last time I really was around him was New Years weekend. I said goodbye at the airport to him and that was it.

Wow.

So my ex is behind about $1600 to my employers for the childrens medical that they have been covering for him. So I guess he finally made contact. So they have all been coming in to me asking if Im ok with this, if he does some work here to pay off what he owes. I told them I was ok, but if he starts up things. Boss wife responded “He will be out” So secretary also pulled me aside yesterday. They are all being protective of me. I seriously am ok with having him around. And if he starts up acting like a jerk, they have all told me they wont allow it and he will be out. He will just be here briefly and doing repairs and things.

So yeah it will be weird to be around each other. Part of me also hopes it may possibly give us some friendly interaction? Or he will avoid me like the plague. Im not really afraid of him anymore. And what is strange, I think when it comes down to it. When we HAVE been around one another. We cant even look at one another without a goofy smile. We just cant make eye contact.

So this will be interesting. Also with the legal stuff. Since he is now representing himself. I also had to just send him an email today and tell him I need a address and number for his residence if he wants to take the children this weekend. He never responded to it last time. And I let the kids go. But I cant do that again. I have no idea there whereabouts and I have primary physical custody. I need to know where they are staying or else they cant go. I expect this to set him off, but we shall see. I have no idea really where his head is these days.

So pray he just gives me the address without a fuss.

So I am not really sure if I will have the kids or not this weekend.

B called me last night. It was about 8pm. He sounded irritable. I asked him what was wrong? Hes all WHY? Ugh I hate when he is like this. I said “Well your tone doesnt sound like your ok” He said “well Im not I guess” but still in the annoyed tone. Grrrr. I gotta have some more words with this boy about his communication. He calls me up, talks to me like hes pissed off and makes it known, yet when I ask him why he wont answer or answers half answers that make no sense. Then I ask him another question to understand and he gets even snottier. So last night I just said “Ok I have no idea whats going on, so Im asking you, if you dont want to talk about it then just say so” He finally chilled out at that point. I am really having to start handling him differently. Call him on things. Before i just froze up or got quiet.

Well he was at work still, waiting for the old roomies, UGH. THe poor guy I felt bad, he said “Well beats walking home right?” He had been at work since around 6am and it was now 8pm and he has to get up at 5am and repeat it all over again. So hes in other peoples hands right now as far as transportation goes. I just told him I loved him. And that I was sorry he was stuck. He is hoping to have his car done by this weekend. So heres hoping he finishes!

A lady I called from group about 2 weeks ago, called me back last night! I felt like she didnt want to talk or see me since I never heard from her. So it was nice to hear from her and she asked me to call her back.

Also at the bank this AM I ran into another woman from group. But she hasnt returned after she blew up at a therapist. She right away hit me up for a ride. And everyone warned me she does this to people constantly. I have given her rides twice in the past. But once she asked me to run her down the street with her kids for McDonalds, right as me and the kids were just arriving for group. I was like “Umm no? Group is starting?” So I did give her a ride today since it wasnt out of the way, but she complained about old stuff from months back. It was a little annoying, very negative to listen too.

I got a check in the mail yesterday from T. He said he wanted to send me some money to help out with the kids this past weekend. Just some grocery money. I even told him I didnt want to owe him anything and hes all “Listen you have been a good friend, You dont owe me, I want to do this ok?” So I shut up. Well it arrived yesterday, so I went online and thanked him. He responded with “Youll owe me one now” I just sat there and stared at the message thinking WHAT? I was pissed off. I didnt know what to say back. So I just sat there. He then said “So now you will have to go to a Hockey Game with me to pay me back” I responded “Is that why you gave it to me? Expecting that?” He replied “Uh no, I was just teasing” Uh huh. I have learned enough to know that if he could get away with saying that and it worked, then great. If I shot it down then he just says “Oh I was kidding” to blow it off and sound like Mr Nice guy still. He then went on with his repeat speech of telling me Im a good friend and he hates to see me going through this. I really didnt answer, said I was busy.

You know we have known eachother for 5 yrs now. We were involved YEARS ago, and well, Im really beginning to like him less after going out that one night, then this little thing the other day. He tries to buy women. And then get attention or a date or something in return.

So I really think that is why the last girl was seeing him. Seriously. Hes trying to appear as Mr Nice guy, she was female dancer in clubs. And she would only see him once a month. But he told me he gave her money all the time. Yet I was baffled how often she didnt come around, but then she would and it would mostly just be for sex. So hey it was almost like a business deal. He helps her financially, and once a month he gets to sleep with a hot chick. (He is not that good looking)

I really dont know, its weird now. I have thought we have always been cool. And I keep telling him Im not interested in him in a romantic sense. But he seems to say “Oh I know” but I can tell he is trying to persuade me. Its how we met to begin with years ago.

Well thats all for now….