Destruction of Affair

Dear Diary,

Its 1am. I am not ready to go to sleep. I just got off the phone with my big sister. She is crying, just wanting to go to sleep and wake up. This all is just a nightmare she says.

Sis has been flip flopping, go, stay, go stay.

After going to therapy with the girls she decided to stay. That she is the responsible parent. The teenage daughter said she was relieved to hear her mom say it wasnt appropriate for their Dad to take them to meet this new girlfriend.

The therapist and her husbands family were all glad to hear my sister is staying. They are all worried about these 2 girls and I guess he has his whole family upset at him and behind my sister also.

Anyways, the oldest girl is self mutilating and the school has called already. The girls are angry at their Dads behavior.

Yet today he took the girls to meet his “girlfriend” anyways, and my sister cant fault the girls for going and their curiosity as to why their Dad is acting weird and not spending time with them.

Well the oldest called and said “Mom will you be mad if we spend the night?” My sister said she didnt feel it was appropriate and to talk to her Dad. Husband said “Pack your bags and get the fuck out”

So my sister is bawling. I guess her husbands brother is in AZ, and hes coming home tomm. So hes pissed big time, and is coming to kick his ass. His father is coming also. The family is now going to intervene. They dont care what he does, leave, go be with her for all they care, but the girls, thats what everybody is pissed off about.

We have all been pretty much telling my sister to go. But as my Mom says “You have a mothers heart” and thats where this gets so tricky.

And even the therapist and attorney see this is a MESSY situation.

So my sister is just crying. She finally said shes going to try and sleep.

Just imagine, after 7 yrs your husband whos loving to you just stops when you leave for a work trip for a week, You come back and hes cold and different, you find a message when you log in from a woman telling your husband how much she loves you. My sister confronted him then and there, he came clean and said he is in love with this woman and hes woke up hating my sister, his wife every day.

Now throw in the fact that my sister has been mother to his daughter since she was 3, she is now 10. Her real mom lost custody, my sister helped him go to court to get her, my sister sat with a therapist and promised to be in that little girls life and took her to therapy and helped that child retrain her world after living in abuse with her Mom. My sister is the only mom she has had ever since.

Then my sister and husband took on legal guardianship a year and a half ago of her husbands daughters HALF SISTER. you follow? So this girl is no blood to my sis or her husband. But they took her in since she was being turned over to the state. The girl thrived, is loving, does well in school. Now everything is crashing down, her grades, shes cutting herself. My sister is still taking her to therapy.

And now her husband and this woman are talking marriage, my sister has read emails and text messages. And now hes taking the girls tonight to spend the night at this womans house.

My sister said hes also in trouble with his job, I guess hes called in sick so much, my sister didnt know, hes not been going to work but being with this woman.

So she said tomm will not be pretty, but his Dad and brother are coming over to intervene.

Its just all so horrible you know?

Granted so many of us know the experience of affairs and all…

And Im talking to B tonight and he keeps saying “Victoria, stop trying to rationalize what hes doing, its insane, and for someone whos not in their right mind, well all of this makes perfect sense to them”

🙁

And the book Ive been reading. The author did something similar. And the impact on his wife and kids. His kids literally hated his new woman, refused to come over to the house even, were not present for the wedding. They literally called her names and told their Dad FUCK YOU and he was an ASSHOLE.

And I wonder why the idea of marriage again scares me?