No Brakeesss!

Dear Diary,

Well my brakes were grinding slightly past few days plus the boyfriend and I drove all over yesterday for hours. Not good on my vehicle mind you. So took it in today to the Jeep dude who said “Hmmm your brakes should have been changed they day before yesterday” haha. Hes so cool I tell ya. Hes a harley looking man with terrible teeth. But hes got the warmest heart, cleanest shop, and specializes only in Jeeps. And he takes the time to EXPLAIN to a girl what he is doing. I figured Id go in and hed look at it and say “Yep need new front brakes” So what does he do??? He lifts my Jeep, looks at front ones, removes back tires, then proceeds to clean it all out, the rust, blow out the back break pads of dirt and mucky stuff, I just watched and thought once again how cool this man is. One of those mechanics you just want to own a Jeep so you can deal with him. Soo my baby needs front breaks and rotors. NOW.

Remember that beach trip I wanted to take end of this month and was saving for? 2 or 3 nights in a beach house? Well they never called me back with the road construction info so I got over my anxiousness to go so soon. But then I figured Id pay off one more debt end of this month with the Exs and my name on it. Yeah its frustrating he isnt pitching in and Im knocking away the debt on my own. But it will benefit me in the long run, like I can count on him anyways?? So I finally had some spare money in the bank, and wouldnt ya know my vehicle is gonna need it? :::Sigh::: The bright side is I have the money saved and can use it for the Jeep. So guess its a blessing thats hidden right?:)

Told the boyfriend and he said “Well I guess Ill have to paint a beach scene picture and tape it to my window and a CD with ocean waves and seagulls and we can pretend in my room we are at your getaway?” haha thought that was cute.

Im once again making copies of things the Ex hasnt paid me back for. He told me to submit receipts and I did and I have gotten no reimbursement or response. Now tack on the return check fee. Its frustrating but all I can do is mail him another letter to his employer. Also the last visit my youngest didnt return with his jacket, which is his warm one, and I havent had it sent or have any clue where it is so I did send an email to Ex asking for that. Took me several months to get the other one back from Mom in Law, now here we go again.

I havent spoken to Ex still, other than “Hello, yes here are the kids” But Saturday Ex did ask to speak to me. I said “Hello?” He said “You dont have to say thank you or anything but did you get the flowers I sent?” I said yes, he then said “Ok Bye” and hung up. Dont get the man, what he is up to or whats in his head, all I can gather is hes in denial we are over since he sent me flowers on what would have been our anniversary and he hasnt responded to any legal calls or paperwork. He has no idea that me and the boyfriend are so close. He has no idea how Im so beyond that relationship now. How sad he is to me my Ex. I dont hate him, but he is such a mess and cant admit it or get help or anything. Im worlds away from him now, and the way he is I just could never go back to that life again. Im a new person.

I got a beautiful card today from a girlfriend, brought a nice smile. And a reminder that there are those out there that do love and care for me.

Boyfriends hours were cut really bad at work after Christmas, he was getting really frustrated. One week he got 4 hrs! Now its picking up again which Im happy for him I know he was sweating it. I know a lot of people who took jobs during holiday season and hrs were majorly cut for a bit afterwards and told him to hang in there.

Im once again in the boyfriends shirt. Mmmm I just laid there last night in bed smelling it, covering my face and thinking of him. Dang love, makes ya wanna be all close to the one person you love, makes ya wanna have them beside ya at night.