Feeling Better
Dear Diary,
Well Im in a better mood now. Talked to my big sis some on the phone and she was really helpful with the ex situation, just her firm talk, reminder of my FEAR messing with me.
She said basically âVicky, you are making changes in your life, you are growing, you are also expressing yourself, just like you did with Dad. And well Ex, he hasnât changed at all, and your getting tired of it, its not like you are trying to keep them from seeing him, in fact you like having your alone time, but this is getting crazy and its not a good place for them. So what if he shows up at the school? Thatâs where you just tell him âI said NO, end of discussionâ if he calls, goes on about it, tell him over again âI said No, you can see the kids at a relatives or get a hotel and spend time with them there, otherwise NOâ
She also told me as far as the kids goes, that I need to remind them that these are their Dads choices and that they donât have to feel bad for him. She said its just like when they donât do their homework and get consequences its not my job to feel bad about it, but its their responsibility to handle, etc etc. She said âThe kids might be a little mad at you but they will understand soon enough, theres no debate or care about how they feel, you are the responsible parent in this, you said NOâ
I then talked to her some about stuff around our homes and B and I were looking at beds, she said she may be interested in buying mine! I told her its $450 for the frame and mattress set. So we shall see. She has wanted a new bed but not to shell out the money for it all. And she knows what my bed is like. Itâs large almost sleigh type wood frame with the metal scroll work through the headboard and footboard, very big and sturdy and my mattress is a new pillow top not even 2 yrs old. So maybe she will buy it??? That would be cool huh! We shall see.
So I called up a window company, I wrote down the number as they have a special right now, get 10 windows and get a free slider and then when I spoke to B he said some people at his work have used the same company and got the gas company rebate too. So I called and have a guy coming out to talk to us and give me an estimate on Saturday morning! Wooohooo. I am approved already for a low interest rate home equity line and have the pre approval, so Ill find out if the windows seem like something I want and their prices, and the special and the rebate, etc etcâ¦
So Im proud of myself. I made the call and set it up. I get kinda scared about this stuff, like Im gonna make the wrong choice, yada yada, but this is my first venture ON MY OWN that involves large sums of money and a home repair, no help from my parents on this one. I havent even told them I am going to do the windows cause I donât want my Dad to do something on his own again, Ive had enough of that.
The sun is back out today, no clouds
Im feeling better for the moment, sis reminding me not FEAR and to be firm was good. I needed to hear that.
Later