Cutting off Your Partner
Dear Diary,
Its 12:30am as I write this…
Im not going into work until after lunch tomm, so I can sleep in at least.
Damn I miss being hugged and snuggled. Sigggghhh, Last time I saw B was last Tuesday… And Im guessing it wont be until next week or weekend that I will see him again.
Waaaaaaaa!
So I need to go look up the hotel near Santa Barbara, just dawned on me tonight about that. I went to Santa Barbara for the 4th last year, my kids and Mom went. I loved it, I vowed to go back there again, but the hotels there are outrageous, so I found a nice one about 10 min outside of Santa Barbara but it was booked up then, so I need to call and reserve a room for that weekend, and do it EARLY so Im set this time. 🙂 So I gotta go look that up either tonite or tomm, hope I can find the hotel still!
B said yes he would like to go. Wont know for sure if Ill have the kids then or not, told him if I do, they can bring their sleeping bags and camp out on the floor, they wont mind, it will be an adventure.
But wow, I loved the 4th there, it was so nice, and it would be so awesome if B and I could get away for that weekend there,,, oooooo yeahhhh
Called my sister tonight, she was so happy to hear from me, Her brother in law was worried about her today cause she didnt answer her phone so came by and checked on her. She said she just started bawling cause he came by and cared.
He told her she was going out with him and his friends, so when I called she was at a Karaokee bar. She took her cell outside and started bawling, said they were singing sad songs, and they had a deal before they left, that my sister was emotional today and if she started crying to take her home.
So she told him “Finish up your drink then I need to head out” So she was crying saying how much she loves me and thanking me for being there, and saying “Did you know I needed to hear from you??”
She was crying, and then went into the bar bathroom with me on the phone to blow her nose and wash her hands, her bro in law sent the bartender in to check on her to see if she was okay.
She keeps telling me how she and brother law are not touchy feely, they dont hug nor have they really, but he cares about her.
Like Ive said before, I could see the two of them together… Seriously, and I saw this way before the marriage problems.
Anyways, she was having a bad day, just lots of crying and to top it off, her husband called his brother while they were out, inviting him over saturday for a bday party for the teen. Bro in law said “I cant Im busy” And he hung up and said to my sister “I dont want to go and meet some new person!”
So it just hurt my sister, hearing that, that her husband is trying to just start his new life over and discard my sister. She was saying “Victoria, I just feel so USED, it hurts so bad, with my first marriage, I knew we had problems, we had been fighting for years, we went to counseling, I wanted to get out,,, this? I had no idea anything was wrong and hes never really given me an explanation other then “Ive hated you for the past 2 yrs”
She said “Its so cruel, its so cold, How can you just discard someone after 7 yrs and just replace them, just like that? I gave of myself, I put my energy into family and raising those kids, and now its done? If they were my own biological kids I would feel different, but the feeling I have now is, HE USED ME.”
Sighh,, one day at a time…
Many of us have been there, and overcome….
She knows she will too, but its just the painful parts, the sorrow and grieving and sadness and all, accepting this, shes all ” Victoria, I still h ave feelings for him even though hes treating me like shit” I said “Of course, you didnt get any warning, you were just cut off, you still are holding onto the parts of him you had when you two were together”
Well Im off to bed…