Drama Continues
Dear Diary,
Morning.
Well had class yesterday, didnt play hookie, and got put on the spot a bit, but thats okay, it wasnt in a bad way, just challanged some.
Had an Orientation to therapy for children. My youngest is signed up to start in April. He will see my therapist and its more for HE and I. Well the first is the intake session. So they just went over the ins and outs of what they do, what they deal and help with, etc etc.
It did suck getting home late, I had to get to moms, she was helping youngest with his Math. He forgot to bring his math homework home the nite prior, so now he had 4 pages of math to do. Along with reading, and working on his homework packet. So needless to say he was totally grumpy and whiney. And then getting them back home from my Moms..
Oldest came home, took a bath and was in bed at 8pm. Youngest was whining at the table. I called my sister while he was writing his spelling words in sentences. The rule is, if hes stuck, skip the word and go to the next one and I will help him with the hard ones at the end. But he got all whiney and talking and I was getting upset as I was on the phone but on the couch in eyesight to make sure he was doing his homework.
So I had to hang up. See that he did only 2 sentences all that time and I told him he wasnt getting down till he finished.
He opted to do his half of his spelling words 5 times each instead, then got in the tub and whined that the water wasnt hot enough,,, whine whine whine.. I just said “Take your bath and get to bed” It just through our routine off me going to the meeting and him at my moms and us not home until near 8pm on a school night.
He does better with a routine.
But he finally finished and went to bed.
Oh but first he came in to say good night and his face and hair were not even clean or wet. I was upset as he was supposed to do that. So I had to send him back in the bathroom to get a washcloth and scrub his face.
By the way, for the first time ever I said something to my kids this AM about money and their Dad. THey keep wanting to play sports, sign ups are like $75 or so PER kid, plus lots of practices are on weekends so it has to be a joint effort. Ive sent the letters to their Dad, wrote him notes that they want to play… etc etc. I havent recieved any child support in 4 months now. And I just dont have money for that stuff… so my son got a flyer on soccer and was bugging me, then little one started in and I finally said “Listen you guys, you need to take those letters to your Dad and talk to him about, Dad is supposed to give Mom money to help take care of you, but hes not, and Mom doesnt have money for that” The little one was all “ohhhhh” like he finally GOT IT or something. Ive never said anything like that before…. but lately its become so much questioning on their part of me and money for them to do things, and me telling their father who blows me off, tells me yes its fine, says he will give me money, yada yada yada, excuse excuse excuse…
And since hes paying zilch the least he can do is sign them up and pay for them to play sports.
Anyways,
Monday B passed out and didnt talk to me other then when I woke him up and he was out of it. Tuesday he did come out 🙂 Wednesday I called him about 8pm, he was all blah and distracted, watching tv, not even answering questions as if he didnt hear me, I said “Ill let you go” and just hung up.
Hes working overtime now, its mandatory, so hes just fried. I try to be cool about it, but I have to say, I hate it when he is this way. Its not that I want much, other then, “Babe, I love you, Im exhausted, talk later k?” Instead its just him sitting there not listening and me saying “Okay, well Ill let you go”
So I get a little annoyed and sad.
And its just the way that I am, I juggle a zillion things a day, work, gym, class, kids, homework time, selling things on ebay, errands, cleaning house, so yes it is somewhat harder for me to be sympathetic since I can still manage to call my sweetie and say I love you and talk in the midst of craziness, I want that, and Im not saying he doesnt, I dont know…
He called me at 11pm. I was in bed and practically asleep and was kinda pissed about the earlier call cause he was so into tv that he wasnt even answering me on the phone. I didnt answer his call.
I was kind of in and out of sleep and my throat was dry and I got up to get a drink, my phone rang again about 11:45pm. It was B , calling to tell me he loved me. I was pretty out of it and said goodnight. Kinda puzzled with his sleep patterns as of this week. He said he only got 3 hrs sleep night prior, yet he was up till midnite last night calling me, and then Monday he slept for 13 hrs.
Not sure what is up with him and that.
So my sister had emailed me and asked me to call her. I did. I guess her husbands half sister called her. She is 17, and spent a lot of time at their house and hung out with the girls. She came along with our family get together this past christmas and shes been there a few times Ive come over.
She said “What are you doing?” to my sis. Sis said “Watching tv” Shes all “Where are the girls?” Sis said “At his girlfriends” 17 yr old said “ohhh, that is not good”
And she said “You shouldnt be there alone” My sister said “Stop your gonna make me cry” Then the 17 yr old said “Look, I do not understand what is going on with my brother, its NOT NORMAL! I talked to my therapist about this today and he said its not normal either!” My sister said “How do you think I feel living in the his house, I feel like the only normal one here?” 17 yr old said “My Dad called your husband(his stepdad)last friday and he was so angry, Im not sure what was said, but my dad was SOO MAD. I cant believe they are doing this, and the teenager, what shes doing. I told her you dont treat your Mom this way”
She said she wanted to call the teen but couldnt get through, I guess husband got a new cell. So my sis gave it to her.
Now to show you how fucking retarded, okay, HOW more retarded this whole thing is. HES AT A BASS FISHING MEETING!
Since hes outed this affair he took a week long fishing trip out of state with the guys and ran away from all the mess he started, and now hes leaving this weekend for a 3 day fishing tournament.
In the midst of an affair, tearing peoples worlds upside down, hes making all this time and leaving for FISHING stuff?????? Yes his priorities are SOO ON TRACK!
So the 17 yr old sis called him, he answered, she asked to speak to his teenage daughter, he said “Shes at home” So she said okay and that shed call. Well she said “He didnt realize I already called the house and the girls werent there, does he mean HOME as in the girlfriends house?” so she called back again LOL, and this time the girlfriend answered and was all “WHOS THIS?????” and she said “Its D” Shes all “Who are you?” Shes all “Umm Im his sister?” and then the girlfriend questions him, he then gets the phone, she said “I called the house, the girls arent there?” He then gave her instructions and a number to call the teen at the new girlfriends house. And to ask for her by first and last name as their are 2 girls there with the same name.
So 17 yr old calls up the house and gets interrogated. “Who are you? How did you get this number???” Shes all “Umm from my Dad? Im the teens Aunt” She got her on the phone finally, and only talked to her for about 2 min as the teen wouldnt say much.
Later that night HE called her up and chewed her out and said “Why are you giving the teen shit?” Shes all “Ummm hello???? what is wrong with you???”
She told my sister “You know my brother was always telling me “Guys are pigs and dogs” and you know what, he sure is a pig and a dog.”
My sister got in touch finally with an attny, who questioned her as to why she called him up, she said he was on the union list of those to call and that she couldnt use two of the others cause her and her husband used them in the past and he wont sign a form over conflict of interest.
The attny said “Well, Im the BEST there is” My sister laughed in said “Well in that case you are my attorney” He said “No No, you go call attny such and such you dealt with before and ask him” My sister said “No I believe you, I beleive in your confidance” He said “No I want you to call for yourself and find out” Anyways, my sister said she is going to use him that she wanted a good aggressive attny, now she has to wait for approval and all that which sucks, not sure how long it will take, since she already did paperwork on another attny she has to redo it all and get approved by the teamsters union or whatever.
So later she called one of the other attnys and he said “Ohhh yeah, hes a good man, to tell you how good he is, I had him represent me before”
So my sister and I just talked a good long while. She just needs that, as she sits alone in the house, shes not gone into work, called in sick and is going to the dr friday to try and get a note for a stress leave for work. Husband called her yesterday and said “Are you going to work?” Shes all “No, Im going out on stress leave due to all you are putting me through” then she said “WHY are you asking?” He said “Well I want to come by and get some clothes and things” So he did.
His brother came over yesterday, they disconnected the business line for the business they were starting. And my sister called to try and get the business put in the brother in laws name now instead of my sisters as it was before.
Sis also called up out brother who lives about 15 min away and has his own place. She said “I dont know when it will be, but I need a back up plan and a place to go when I see what I need to do next” My brother told her to get out of there now, to come stay at his place, my sister thanked him, she is going to go over Sunday for lunch.
Its so strange, seeing whats going on. My Mom said to me the other day on the phone “Im not making anymore wedding frames for the hallway” See my mom has collages down the main hall, my wedding, my brothers wedding, and then the wedding of my sister and her first husand that died.
Mom said she finally took one down and used the frame for some family history stuff. Which is good, my sister has hated seeing the wedding pics up of her and her deceased husband while she and her new husband come to stay and visit.
Wow…
In the last 3 yrs…
I split up with my husband, after 7 yrs of marriage. 12 yrs together and 2 kids.
Last year, surprise with no warning my brother moves out of his NICE House, and buys another house for himself. He was married for about 25 yrs and has two teenage sons. They were christians also who were in church.
Now my oldest sister is going to go through divorce #2. She was married for about 12 yrs to her first husband, went through such a horrible divorce from a really bad abuser. And she met her current husband, They were together for 7 yrs, married for 4. And now she is going through it again.
So its like WOW, 3 of us are gonna be on our own now! Just my middle sister is the one still married, shes on marriage #2 but her situation differed as she lost her first husband to death.
It really scares the crap out of me. Marriage, watching all thats going on, it scares me further.
I was driving to school listening to Dr. Laura and some woman called who had been married, divorced, now remarried, new baby, and husband and moved away and her teenage daughter wants to go live with her Dad now.
Dr. Laura said “Listen, I urge people all the time, to wait till the kids are up and gone before they remarry, I see this over and over again. Your daughter first saw her parents split up. She goes back and forth with visits between you and her father, Then you remarry, then you have a new baby with the guy, then you up and move her from her school and where her friends are, and you dont understand and are upset why she wants to live with her Dad? IS her Dad remarried?” SHe said “No” She said “Well it makes perfect sense, at her Dads she is all that matters, she doesnt have to share a parent with all these other people and her Dad is close to where her world has been, I think you need to call her up and apologize to her and say you are sorry and that you understand how she feels.”
Damn and that just hit me. Dr. Laura then went on about how selfish adults get, starting new relationships and treating children as if they are a piece of furniture to move and drag around like suitcases and expect these kids to just adapt well to this?
My sister and I talked a good long while about what a rude awakening these kids are in for. If he moves this new woman in as he wants to do. He will be gone and hardly home. They will have a new mom, and then have to share bedrooms. That its only been about 2 weeks now that they are spending time with her kids, but it should start getting to the point of personality conflicts, the girls will want to be home and back to their space and rooms, etc. BYE BYE to that world!
My sister said “I thought the woman would have been nice looking, but she looks like trailer trash”
SO I asked her about her husbands first wife, the mother of the 2 girls.
See, when my sister was married to her first husband they owned apartments, Her current husband and his then wife lived in them.
My sister and him began to date as they both were going through divorces and my sister moved into the apartments for a short time.
She told me she had to clean his apartment when the two of them moved out. Shes all “Vicky, they were pigs, the apartment was digusting, I remember the closet had cat crap all over it, on top of clothes on the floor, it had been sitting there so long there were ants all over it, They kept pet hamsters in one of the bathtubs, they had a mouse living underneath their stove, it was pure filth. Husband had said they had one car, she wouldnt always remember to pick him up from work and hed walk home 18 miles! And come in and find her getting high with several men in the house as the kids were playing outside…. and he never said anything to her. He so passive like that”
She said “I guess he must miss that way of life huh?” SHe said they never even had a telephone, he and his first wife. Cause they couldnt manage to pay the bill.
Shes all “Wait till the neighbors get a load of this crew moving in. It used to be a NICE neighborhood. I just feel bad for my cat and dog.” Sis lives in a nice house on a culdesac in a nice area. I told her, “The woman probably thinks shes won the jackpot with him” but we also discussed how hes never paid the bills nor cared, my sister saw to it all much like it was my marriage, once I wasnt around? My ex lost everything. All because of stupidity and not paying bills and things falling behind. It will happen to this guy too.
Sooo, I offered to come out this weekend to help her pack, she said she would be okay and wants to pack alone, but she will let me know if she needs me.