Old Friends

Morning,

Well have been knocking out some of my errands this week, made a trip to the post office before the gym yesterday. I was late for work out buddy and friends to do the routine with them yesterday though, but I at least made it in.

I was doing my cardio when cute Gym guy walks over, and slides something on the machine and smiles and walks away. It was a tiny Hersheys Dark Chocolate candy bar, you know like trick or treater size. I said “Your sooo bad” haha, he knows about my sweet tooth.

It was kinda cute though ya know?

I was heading out and he just heads towards the door with me, so we went outside, I gave him a hug, and he just starts to TALK.

I was like Damn, as we are within ear shot of the gym front door that is wide open. And he just says to me “I made an appointment to see the Dr, those viagra pills arent working”

And he just starts to tell me how he tried taking one when he came over, and they dont work, and Im all “Why dont you tell me your taking them? WHy just take them and then arrive and discover I dont want to have sex? You can talk to me about this you know” And he said “Yeah, I know but how romantic is it to say “Hey I gotta take a pill” and I said “Look each of the times things were awkward between us was when you took one and didnt tell me and then I cant figure out why you are acting so strange.

And he just goes on and says how its been so long since hes been with someone, how hes trying to communicate better, how he hates that his “Dick” wont work right, and its frustrating and he wants to be able to pleasure me and himself,,,, etc etc

And it was kinda cool I guess, because he was really talking, he and I just went and sat in my Jeep and all. Its sorta like hes trying to do this alone, show up and appear its on his own if he can have sex without a problem, when it would be easier for me if I knew what was up. Because I was confused by his behaviors and all, and its his ego thing I know. But hes gotta face it, its reality, and you can either be open and talk about it, or try and hide it and not but confuse your partner by your actions.

I did have a talk with him though about his amount of physical affection that Im not complaining about his technique or any of that, just that he goes overboard, just too much of a good thing. And so hes all “Yeah I know you have to remind me” And I said “And I do”

Well R comes in with her bf through the parking lot ( this is the girl who tried to set cute gym guy and up last year and it went poorly! LOL) and she comes over to my Jeep, and sees D sitting in there with me LOL, gosh I have to wonder what they were thinking after that, as I havent seen her in awhile, and she and her bf have gone out with Ex BF and I a few times. So they dont know about the breakup or anything or that Ive been out with Cute Gym Guy.

I said goodbye to D, as it was time to get the kids.

Watched Surreal Life last night, ohhh I love that show, I was laughing when Gary Coleman was upset wanting to leave and they are all trying to stop him.

What a combination of people they have, its great though.

So B went into work early today so he can get off early, then hes going to meet up with the mechanic friend he barters work for, and do some more work on his Jeep, then come up tonight whenever hes done.

So he will be with me all weekend, and here for the birthday party.

Oh and I have been emailing with my old college class mate, the one who is the sister of my neighbor. She wrote this yesterday, had me laughing reading it…

“Anyway, that is mostly what has been going on over here. Let me know what is going on with your life in the man department…I’m curious. I still wish that Our Film Teacher was single, you two would have lovely long, curly hair little girls! How cute would that be? Amber hair, brown eyes and lots of freckles. Aww… I’m sorry, I just can’t help picturing it!”

Referring to the film teacher we had and that I had a crush on.

Shes so funny!

So we talked about working on trying to get together sometime soon.

Ive been writing to her, My other girlfriend in Washington has been writing to me lately also which is nice, she was one of my highschool church friends and she was in my wedding to my ex.

I got to also say Hello to my girlfriend in Florida online the other day, it was brief, shes pregnant with her 3rd and its due end of March. So its coming up soon! She and I have been friends since elementary school.

So lots of people touching base lately. The one I really need to talk to is my old best friend K in Colorado. We have not talked much AT ALL. For about the last 2 yrs, we send cards and all, but she was pregnant and had a child and never told me until I got the birth announcement. I had no idea. Im worried about her, and I keep telling myself there may come a day, I dont know, depends on how things go for her, but where she will want to get out of this marriage.

My ex and I set her up with the man she married. She was a smart bright college student, with one semester to go to finish graduate school, she was taking phsyc and all and wanting to be a therapist. Her parents are a Chiropractor and a Nurse and they put her through school, bought her a nice car. She spent her summers in Israel, went to Christian college, she was a part of a traveling choir, Just a good christian girl. And then she met HIM, and then we had our big friend fallout, and she married him shortly after the fallout and didnt invite me, and they packed up a van and just moved out of state without jobs or a plan, she didnt finish college.

Well since then they moved to Co, They opened up a store, had a child who was terribly sick with some viral thing and was in the hospital for months, then the business went bankrupt while they were in the process of buying their first home,,, etc, You get the idea. She was working at a grocery store as a cake decorater, he wasnt working. And her parents were helping them make it which as far as I know they are still doing it because I cant see how these 2 are making house payments with the jobs they have been having. Then her husband went to chef school, then he decided he wanted to get into Wines and work with that, but each time I speak to her, hes changed his mind, quit, hes working stocking a liqour store, you name it. She also mentioned hes Manic Depressive, and they both have put on weight ALOT, I got a photo 2 yrs ago and you just went WOW as they are both so heavy now. THey both have had weight issues, he was so lean and thin when they met, he was bike riding, she was looking really good and had a roomate at college who got her into working out.

Anyways, her Relatives live near Co and she has said shes wanted to leave before, just take the son and go stay with relatives but her husband wont let her take the son anywhere alone, likes he afraid she will leave him or says if she goes she will not take that child, that SHE will be the one abandoning the family, and all this abuser/control/guilt talk crap.

And now she has 2, wow.

She knows why my marriage fell apart, she knew my ex better then almost anyone, she was the closest person to me during all our dating years and the marriage and she put on my baby showers.

But shes also very into the church and divorce is wrong, like I used to be, she tried to tell me it was wrong to divorce my Ex, and I just said to her “Look I know what you are saying, and I know you dont understand, but this is what I have to do”

She can think Im in sin or whatever she wants, its my life.

I do not regret my divorce, I do not beat myself up spiritually for it either any longer. I feel free, Im at peace with that decision. And Im just amazed at how I stayed with my Ex for as long as I did. I look back over my life, and it seems so long ago, Its 3 yrs now? And I just look at my ex, its so strange, how I was his wife. How foreign he is now in some regards, yet I feel like I know him so well. I just didnt have a companion that I was on the same level with, who understood me and related to me emotionally.

I got to talk to B’s old gym buddy last night. Its been a long while, and he said “Did B tell you what happened Vicky?” And I knew it was about that girl he had the hots over on the net who was a phoney. So we talked sometime last night about it. Hes been really messed with big time, hes having a hard time, I mean for 3 yrs or more hes been talking to her, internet, telephone, endless hours, they were considered a couple, yet they had never met in person. He was telling me about when B and him were both taking college courses that he met this girl and started to go out with her and hit it off, well Internet Chicky wanted all his time and attn, and he told her he was dating some other girl, and then she goes and tells him her Mom is dying of cancer, endless hours of pain and tears, then said her Mom died, and this guy just let the girl he was seeing go as he was on the phone with her so much.

I mean this story is heavy duty, this chick is one wacked out person for what she did. And she was doing it to others. He said he wants to write a book or contact a talk show over this.

So I have not popped into the chat room in months, and B’s other friend and old roomate dude was in there and hes all telling people not to get married, everyone married he knows is divorced, and then I said something and hes all “Vicky, by all means, you can get married, I like the guy your seeing, you have my blessing” and this is the guy who we get the hookups for the free hotel stays in Vegas, and I said “Okay hook us up with a week honeymoon at the hotel okay?”

He said sure.

Well, Im just rambling on for the moment… I wont be around online all weekend. B will be with me, we will have a lot of time together, so will see how Im feeling come the end of the weekend, Im gathering he will stay thru Early Mon AM. But dont know just yet.