New Relationship ?
Dear Diary,
So I presented some questions to B via email this AM.
Since Ive been reading my book “Getting to Commitment” seeing how people dont discuss things, they just jump into them, think fantasy thoughts, and I know I have in the past, then 2 people find out they both were not in the same place, etc etc.
So I basically asked B “If we were to get back together, how would you want our relationship to be?” and I listed a bunch of areas of topics,,, and here is his response….
What do I want things to look like.. wow.. Big question. Lets begin shall we.
Seeing each otehr. I would like to see you more often than I had been, the once a week or everyy other week on weekends when you were free wasnt cool, need more than that. I am willing to move closer to you since I know you cannot move closer to me.I know me, and I dont do well commuting huge distances all the time. I tend to be more localized and I see that for things to work with you I need to be closer to you. I would like to see you a few days a week( for now at least once, hopefully 2 or 3, in time???), have dinner, hang out, do stuff help outaround the house. Help with Ebay stuff, homework , Etc.
Jobs, I like my job, there is a vanpool I can commute to work on from your area so I dont see that as a huge issue. Your job is cool. I dont see this as an issue at the time being as I am willing to make concessions.I dont know exactly how it would work out but that can be dealt with if and when it becomes an issue.I want to move into underwriting and continue down that path for now. i dont know exactly what this will entail but we wil see.
Kids…I like the kids. I want to get to know them better. Spend time with them. Just not always 100% sure how to do all of that but I can learn and try and work on it.I am a little afraid of the whole kid thing but that doesnt mean I cant do it. This is something that will require time and discussion beyond this right now, but suffice to say I want to be around them.
Sex. Well that isnt really an issue. I guess I would like it as often as is mutualy agreed upon. Right now, im all over it. Later on.. I dont know.It just has to be done in a manner that is mutually satisfying as far as quantity( quaility is great, unless Im missing something). I will speak up if I feel it isnt as I would expect you to. I dont think this will be much of an issue as long as other things are maintained properly =0).
I see us doing normal stuff. Bills and saving money for goals. trips, car repairs etc. I see mowing the lawn and helping the kids with homework, changing spark plugs and oil in the driveway. Candle lit dinners and Sloppy Joe night.Happy things sad things, just thing things. I see fights and being mad and making up. I see crying and joy.Life. good bad indiffeant oft times mundane.I see us perhaps working in therapy together, if not seperately Im sure. We both see a need for growth and are pursueing it. I dont see a reason to stop that.
Um. eventually assuming things are good from a certain point i could see living together( thats a weird thought byt eh way), But that is kinda far off so Im not sure if that is something i should be covering right now.
If we get back together,I would like us to be exclusive.I would like to work on “us” and build a stronger healthy relationship without sacrificing our own individuality.I want to be involved in helping you with goals and you helping me with mine. Sharing things. Ideas, dreams, hopes etc.And seeing how we can work on them together or seperately.Not being lost in some fantasy of each other or “us”.
And …..
“I want to be happy” =0p~~~~
Um .. thats kinda what I see still kinda low bloodsugar food hasnt hit me yet, so if Im not 100% complete forgive me.
thoughts, questions etc?