PEOPLE w/NO COMMON SENSE

Dear Diary,

Im having one of my nights contemplating life. Im in one of my want to just pack of and leave this city. Just sell my home, and go somewhere else. Ive been looking up how much to rent a home in Cambria or Santa Barbara.

Just imagining if I sold my home, how long I could live off of that, Could I get established elsewhere?

What if I lived in Cambria for a year? Just a year away from this hell.

I am just having hatred for this place right now.

The weather was 116 today.

I have shit for neighbors. Thank you Government housing coming into my block.

My kids dont even want to go outside when the neighbors are home now.

Im sick of this. I own my house. They dont, they come here and make the place look like crap, act like crap, stealing from the neighbors, their mom is a big ugly bully talking trash.

And this is my home. Yeah its worse elsewhere right? Its worse in some other country so be thankful for what I have right?

Is this how life is God? We cant have a home, a sanctuary to go too? Do you want me in the middle of this crap because Im standing up against it? Because someone has too?

I need help God, I need reinforcements.

Yes I wish I knew a group of big guys and could invite them to come hang out eves at my home and around my yard.

Making their presence known.

I hate it when its like this, Im so propelled to just MOVE. Yeah my state Im in tonight makes me just want to put my house on the market ASAP and see what happens. Go rent if I cant afford a place for now, just get myself out of this shithole of a city.

And what the heck is wrong with men today? I am dealing with this bs tonight and my neighbor whos yard I go to for some help just stands there like some timid man. Im surrounded by bullshit men…

Just reminds me of the sermon in church about how the churchs are over 65% women today and they are taking hte leadership, and many of the men who do attend do so to make their woman happy. How its feminisim the church, feminism Christ.

I am a Christian, and I dont have anything against women in leadership, but I do believe something that I read is true, that women are big on showing compassion and sympathy and understanding and that is the new Christ of todays churches, but what happened to Christ the HERO, the PROTECTOR?

Where are our men today? Why arent they standing up for things?

Im just sitting here and i have to remind myself God is on my side, he is right next to me but I forget at times, do things in my own strength.

God am I supposed to be out in the world fighting these battles and turmoil and exposing this to my kids?

When I just want some beautiful sanctuary we call home to go to, but then I know if you have that you can self absorbed and forget about a world in need. Its like where do you draw the line?

I want my peace and my sanctuary to call home… I really do. I want some beauty around me, great schools for my kids and better friends for them to make.

Im sick of foul mouth families on welfare living in Section 8 Govt Houses, ganging up in the neighborhoods and causing trouble. Im sick of how these kids talk, how disrespectful they are blatantly to the face of an adult.

Lord…. I just want some peace…

Dealing with a crap father isnt enough? I need a neighbor thrown into it?

Good grief how long God?

What is it you want me to do?

I am fighting the battles but Im tired, I just want to go live somewhere,, heck what do I do? Do I get fired up and pursue the police job thing to make a difference? Do I escape this city with my family and start a new life elsewhere? Do I stay put and weather this storm(I really hate this option by the way)

And I figure thats the one God is gonna give me, cause im supposed to be learning something, but I want better God… you know?

Is it so wrong to want to escape this and put my kids in a better situation?
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