Father You Arent

Dear Diary,

I was at work today and the secretary handed me some things to copy. And there was a check from the Ex for the childs health insurance payment. I said to myself “Oh what a niceeee guy”

Yes he is paying it, but refused to pay it to me, and now pays it to my work, which is fine, but I know WHY he is doing it this way. You see, its to make himself look good to everyone around him. It was never a concern for him that I would misuse money. He is the one who always did that and I bailed his ass out over and over. So it was hard to look at the check, it angered me once again since I havent recieved any child support for March, nor did anything arrive April 1st. But then I thought “Well maybe he has some money now and he will send me some too?” So I went straight home. Sure enough was a envelope from him!

Now here is all the weirdness of my Ex.

The last 2 child support checks he did send bounced the first run thru, and he got angry and me for calling him to tell him saying the funds were there. Prior to that he had sent me 2 checks with errors on them, the numbers were unreadable, and one he wrote his own name in the To line. Then his mother sent one for him and signed her name next to his signature on the check which was another odd one. So twice Ive had bank clerks, thank god Ive been in the same bank for years and they know me, one was afraid she couldnt deposit it, once I said “Its my child support” she responded “Why didnt you tell me! Thats it Im putting it thru but there will be a hold on it until it clears” I said fine. But see what I have to deal with?

So I open the envelope, inside is another one addressed to me and stamped with a return to sender. Im wondering what? It was mailed out March 19th. Then I look, he wrote it to an old address???? A house he and I rented about 3 yrs ago before we bought our house.

Then I open it up to find a check. Yay! He paid, but wait. He messed up on the amount line, scribbled out one of the numbers and initialed it, but wait theres more, on the line where you write the amount he wrote it out wrong, so the numbers were sloppy and one scribbled, then the number written out didnt even match it. I went “Oh great” I hope I can get this one thru at the bank like the others. I stopped by to see Mom on my way. She said “Ok the mistake on the address we can maybe sympathize, but the fact he cant even write a check out correctly is inexcusable, and this isnt the first time, its a subtle way to mess with you, since he doesnt have control over you anymore”

So I went to the bank, waited for one teller, the 3 who know me well werent there. SO I was nervous praying they would take his check. I went to the clerk, she looked at it and shaked her head. I even told her what all the other clerks have said, and how they all put a hold on the check. She said “Yes but these amounts dont even match eachother?” I said “Its my child support check, its not the first time this has happened, he does this” She said “WHY??” I said “I dont know why? To mess with me? Who knows, but Im in the legal process right now to get all this stopped” She said “I dont understand why people do this type of thing” I said ” I know” Because I sat with my Mom today trying to figure out why he does this, and YOU CANT. You cant figure out irrational irresponsible people and you will drive your brain crazy trying to understand. Fact is, whatever his reason, its not cool. If you mess up on a check, write a new one! Dont send me one thats all tweaked. So now i have to wait to see if it clears. I sure hope it does because we really need it.

I also dont get, which is another irrational thing. Why he emailed me wanting copies of the kids report cards and to hear about their behavior in school. Hes not around, he doesnt live here and chooses not too, he doesnt see them but maybe 2 days every six weeks. Why does a person request such things? I mean if you are concerned about your child in school, move nearby and and be an active parent in helping them learn and with homework. Who does it all? ME!

Dad shows up for a day, buys them toys and takes them to the movies.

Fuck that, yeah hes their Dad, but thats not a Father role in a childs life if you ask me.