Thank ya Thank ya

Dear Diary,

Thank you Jen for the comment. 🙂 YAY!

Ive talked about B in my counseling. One part of me says “Dump him! You deserve better!” all that stuff.

Then the other part adores him, and I think the big word is “SAFE” B feels “SAFE” and my counselor said “Feeling SAFE Is important” and she said “You may be right, he is what you need right now at this stage of your life, you are able to express yourself in many ways with him that you havent in your past with others, your afraid, and he allows you to express yourself”

Its like last night, each time I said something, I just wanted to crawl under the desk, for fear of the response after I told him how I felt. I think there was a lot more laughter. Not in a bad way, but that I percieved things in MY way, and they werent B’s, so he would laugh and tell me the reality of how he sees things” I also had told him and said “I dont know if youve noticed, but Im speaking up a lot more, being more direct and communicating things Im ok or not ok with” Hes all “Yes, I notice, and I like it”

I had told my counselor, that it seems each time I speak up, even when Im angry B seems to actually respect me MORE for doing so?

I was talking about Dr. Phil. He is always saying “Dr. Phil is Gay” as his joke, hes never heard Dr. Phil, just saw his photo on a book and said he appears to be Gay. I laugh, does anyone else think that? He said “He just appears to be some mamby pamby liberal. Does Dr Phil appear that way to u readers?

I keep telling him “Hes good, direct, and in peoples faces” I think hes great to be honest, he has a way of cutting through the crap, tackling the issue head on if you ask me, and I dont find him new agey or too liberal or anything, I think hes touching something people have lost sight of today COMMON SENSE!

Heck I learn lessons still from my marriage. Watching his shows, reflecting back onto the marriage, how we conducted ourselves, my ex and I, And I can see things I did that were not beneficial also. I can log them for mental notes, and I think thats cool.

ok nuff for now!