FOUND: Friends

Dear Diary,

Evening. Well a HUGE branch came crackling down from the Elm Tree next to my driveway! My neighbors were out and came over. The husband helped move it onto my yard since there was nowhere else to put it. It was blocking my entire driveway! So I have to call the city tomm to see if they will take care of it since all the trees that are where the curb and powerlines are are usually maintained by the city. Im hoping they will take it and trim the tree back, but will call tomm to find out. Otherwise I do have a chainsaw Ive never used.

Jen called shes home safe, YAY! I was in my room having my “DISCUSSION” via phone with B when ya called. 🙂 Sorry I missed ya.

So without typing everything that was said, The jidst of it was in the past when I tell B about something, he says some excuse answer, and how Im always saying “Show it by actions” So instead of talking to me about it he started doing actions, which yes, he has. Hes been making several attempts this past week. So I told him that is fine, but I am always wondering with him because he didnt say a word to me, and I wondered what his motivation was, etc etc.

He reminded me of his strong stubborn personality and that is the way he is. He also said he will steam roll over people in convos and to just tell him “Shut the fuck up” haha. But I also told him we have to talk about this stuff, and it shouldnt always be me having to point out or speak louder or direct or the way he wants to hear, that he has to realize Im different also.

Ultimately in the end we decided on Friday (I PICKED THE DAY) well its not in stone hes gonna check if he has work sat AM. And we will go see Matrix. I told him “I really want to see it with you, its all youve talked about and I know how much you love it and then to hear you just going alone without me when I want to see it to wasnt cool by me” So he said he understood. And so we will see it together. He didnt go today like he had planned.

Spoke to mom a bit, but had to go due to the tree branch falling. Was telling her about the Hollywood homes tour, shes never done it, and I said we should go sometime soon. But try the Graveyard or whatever tour. Jen and I would have liked to have seen that too but time was short and I didnt see a sign for it where we were.

Work was Eh today. I talked a lot with computer guy about life, and a coworker annoyed me. Im tired of people treating me less then and 2 people treat me like some peon there and they arent the people I answer too or my boss, and I kinda just go mute when they say or do things I know are not cool, so its time I start learning to stand up to them. Im so awful with confronting things. Just like the one person walked in, moved a heavy box of stuff in front of my office door looking for something in MY office, then said “Im not putting that back, its too heavy” and I shoulda just said “Well you took it down, put it back, take things out of the box to make it lighter, Im not putting it back” But instead I just sorta half smiled and she walked away. Computer guy said several people are lazy and will try and pass the buck so I have to start saying something.

OH! And good news! I went to gym, my buddy there even wrote me an email today saying he hadnt seen me at the gym and hoped I was having fun with my vacation and that he wanted a Ren Faire picture! lol

So when I got to gym we talked, it was just the guys, the one guy was teasing me and making me laugh constantly. So later one of the ladies came by she owed the buddy guy money. So when I left they were both outside talking and they said “We were just talking about you, you should come hang out with us”

Okay ummm! YAY!!!!!!!

LOL I frickin need other friends, and so gym buddy said he will try and plan a group thing, last time they went to a rodeo with 14 of them, just drinking and hanging out. Yeah Rodeo doesnt sound like top of my list fun, but hell its hanging out and meeting new people. She was all asking me what kinda drinks I like (Im not a beer girl) and neither is she, so shes all telling me she will make drinks for us all before we go out. So have no idea when this will occur but they said I will be invited! Woohoo!

Haha, and she was all telling me she is interested in a guy in the gym. I said WHO? And Im all worried its the guy I find hot, lol but it was different one. But then the hot guy came over and talked to her, that I thinks hot. LOL so she and I were just being girly, which is NICE for me you know!

And gym buddy was asking me what i did, and hes all ALRIGHT! Just happy I was out having some fun and staying out late, although his buddy was like “You didnt drink at the concert!!!” He wanted to go and was whining that I was going.

But cool things are happening, Jen came and spent a week and we did things, Im meeting people gradually in my class and one lady was interested in watching male stripper nite and a few said we should all go for our last class, type celebration afterwards. Then the gym thing, my therapist said I was actually doing all the right things to meet people, that i just needed to be patient, let things develop, and well its like answered prayers you know? 🙂

Well I feel better, Im tired myself. And I was a little worked up emotionally earlier with the B thing, but we pretty much talked it out I think.

Well Im outta here, Later!