Therapeutic House Cleaning

Dear Diary,

Im back again! heehee

I just checked my AOL account email and noticed I had my first TOS violation ever. And I knew what it was about. This guy messaged me last night. I ignored him, he was typing TALK! and I was playing a game, so later when I went back to main screen he had sent “Fine, Bye Fat Virgin Whale”

Guys like that are such idiots. They message you say they want to talk to you and your cute, when you dont respond they insult you, it makes no sense, if Im a fat virgin whale then why the hell are you messaging me to begin with? Damn male egos! So when I found the message later I sent it back to him and said “Whats your prob?” He didnt respond. So I umm, was bad LOL. And I dont really care, I just cut and pasted his IM back to him about 10 times in a row repeatly ( this ties them up if they are chatting or anything) So Im sure he reported me over that. What an ass. The past 2 days I have been getting some worse messages then usual from guys. I visit a regular chat room, but lately some have been very crude, or very pushy and keep messaging even when I dont respond.

I did want to type some things on a more positive note!

A flower popped up in the small old bucket next to my front door. It has an iris in it, I transplanted them from my old house to here when we moved over 3 yrs ago. Well I thought it was a baby Iris, a new one popping up and the flowers, but then I noticed they were red! (the iris was purple) And then once it opened its NOT a Iris, I asked my Mom what it was, shes all “Its Freesia” Omgosh it smells sooooo good too! Its so pretty! There are about 4 flowers on it opening now. So I was baffled how that got in there????? Its not a common thing to find growing in my area. Then the other day it hit me, it came from my EX! Years ago when we lived at our rental house, he gave it to me as a gift for some holiday once in a pot. I thought it died, I didnt know much about plants with bulbs, so I must have dumped the pot of soil into this one. And here 3 yrs later it blooms! How wild is that! Its strange and sweet. I love the flower, just a old reminder of the days of marriage to the ex.

When I was cleaning out his stuff I was in the very back cupboard of the garage and in it was his old clipboard/box he carried on the job. I opened the box and there taped inside was a note I wrote. It said “Hi huney, thank you for working so hard to take care of me and the kids, Im so thankful that you work so hard that I can be a stay home Mommy” and i drew a little picture of the kids saying “We love you Daddy” and I signed all our names.

I didnt tear it out. I left it in the box. Its another one of those bittersweet things. As much as I hate divorce and all, I know it was right to leave my ex, and I dont regret doing so. Sure I pray that one day we can get a long and talk more and have a better “Friendship” as parents. But just the idea when he said the other night “Wanna go out?” How that thought just make me repulsed. Im so beyond the feelings of that type of wife LOVE for him. And the lifestyle I had with him I so do NOT miss.

So last night I was remarking to Mr Comedy at how far Ive come!

Im doing quite well right now. It feels nice. I can support me and the kids on my own without the child support(Im supposed to get) I have health insurance for the children and I( we never had it when I was married except State coverage when i was pregnant) We have the house, I have made the mortgage payments on time ever since the ex left. Im redecorating and painting the inside and its come along so nicely. I have a good job and great employers. I have some money in the bank, I will no longer have any credit cards or loans etc ( except the House payment)

Im exercising and taking care of myself. I can provide for my kids.

It feels really good!

My Mom raised all of us kids to be very responsible and good with finances. So I wonder where I will go in the future with that area. My parents are awesome with investing and all that. And my middle sister is also doing really well financially and she isnt even working full time anymore, just some clients at home, but now shes at home with the kids and her husband can support them. They live well.

My brother is going thru a divorce, but he just bought his own house and is still paying the mortgage on his soon to be ex and taking care of maintance and yard work for her and seeing the kids daily.

My oldest sister has been hired full time at her job, no more temp, and she works at same place as her hubby. They live in a nice neighborhood. They have adopted recently a half sibling of her stepdaughter. So my sis is raising 2 girls who neither of them are her own but she doesnt mind.

We all face struggles, but we did get some good training in some areas from our parents, despite how messed up they can be in other areas. I value the thing my Mom has taught me.

And soon I will have a garage that is ALL MINE!!!!!!!!!!!

My house is coming along well, I still have so much more to do, but Ive been getting rid of so much stuff, yard sales, donating to charities, throwing things away, getting ex’s things out. Its very therapeutic to be honest! I still have so much more to do, but I cant wait till my house is clutter free and open and clean.

So YAY! There are some good things!