He stayed over

Dear Diary,

B came out earlier, didnt end up working they had to many people for his shift so he came out earlier. He sat with the kids and I and watched Fear Factor on the couch.

He seemed a little grumpy. Well quiet. Not very happy appearing and I thought “Oh great here we go again” But I instead told myself not to take it personal and just relax, B said if something is wrong he will tell me. So?

But he didnt seem all to sweet and friendly.

We just laid quietly watching tv until about 11pm. Then I shut the tv off and snuggled and asked him if he was ok or wanted to talk or just wanted to sleep.

And it was at that point he made it known something was on his mind.

He wanted to know about Mr C. He wanted details. Ugh, It flashed me back to my ex, when he would ask me stuff and I used to feel I had to tell all to him. Now here i was with B doing the same thing, but from counseling and all I have learned I dont have to discuss things or say things I dont want to or dont feel are beneficial. I told him more about Mr C recently. That i did go on a date, that I was interested. So he said basically he was afraid I was gonna leave him again. But I also told him that I broke things off, said I wanted to see others and I didnt have to account for everything I do and tell him when I go out. And well we had a good long talk, not sure if it was satisfactory enough for him, but after awhile he became affectionate and kissed me on the forehead, and pulled me close spooning me from behind and said “Victoria, I love you, and I one day want you to be my wife, your the person I want to wake up next to in the morning and the person I want to share things with, however silly or petty they are”

Well I was very WOW to that. To hear him say WIFE? Not that it isnt a place we are even ready to jump into now, but that it is somewhere he wished to progress to, we talked more dreaming at the beginning of dating about marriage and things like that, but then that stopped. There is a lot of change that needs to happen with both of us.

We also talked about B and working. And I told him straight forwardly “I do not want to be married to a man who sits home and plays on the computer while Im at work unless hes paid to work on that computer while at home”

And I shared my fears with him about how he is “Stuck” in many places with himself and how I do love him but how hard it is to watch a person in that place when you are moving forward in life.

It was a good talk, and soon I was wrapped in his arms, making love to him for what felt like a long time and it was so incredibly pleasurable. He is such a wonderful lover. We joke since I am 3 yrs older then him about me being the older woman(Milf) and him being the young stud.

He is so very giving and will keep at it pleasuring me even when Im exhausted.

I love that after we make love Im not in a rush to shower or get the smell off me or be clean, that I just sleep in his arms and none of that matters, We are so compatible in that area. I love his smell, taste, mmmm 🙂

I stayed home, still not feeling the greatest so we slept till NOON! Which was wonderful. Kids were off with Grandparents. So we had a nice day to ourselves at my home, and we got up and made some late breakfast and then showered together. He loves to shower with me. Its become our ritual.

I feel very content at the moment. Tired also, kids will be home in about an hour. They also are starting to see more of B, no more hiding his car, I told them yesterday and they finally saw it and I told B its time to park in front of the house. Its time for things to start changing. And well they are with us.

He asked me today about my girls nite out to see Male dancers tomm nite, I cant get a sitter so I told him I cant go. Hes all “But why not? You should go, I know you need this type of thing and to have some fun” And he even asked about what time Id need a sitter and said if he wasnt working hed watch my kids! So that was a nice thing to hear. It just felt good you know?

But yes him and the children interacting is an adjustment for me. I have to just observe I guess and see how it goes.

Well my tummy hurts so time to take a break,