Mmm Seafood
Dear Diary,
Well just popping in for a bit.
I made salmon and shrimp tonight! MMmmmmm, In lemon and butter and garlic. MMmmmmm.
Kids loved the shrimp and asked for me to buy more next time. 🙂
Ex came into my work today. I didnt see him, everyone knows the drill so the office manager let me know and I just shut the door of my office until he left. To be honest I dont even want to hear his voice. And I sat there cursing him in my head for a bit after I found out he was there. I have noticed I do this now. Interesting. Its as if I have to harden myself and separate myself from him emotionally. I spent the whole past year trying to make things nice between us. Reaching out to him, being kind, Heck I remember I just wanted to hug him! Hes made things the way they are now. And I cant allow myself to feel sympathy for him because I have to keep my guard up right now. I cant let him in any longer. Emotionally it is not good for me. So for now I have to detach myself as best as I can.
B called me last night near 1am after he got in from work. I was all sleepy but we talked briefly. He told me he will try and come over tomorrow after work and stay the night. 🙂 YAY!
He also talked to me earlier yesterday said he missed me and how much he wanted to feel my skin against his. Today he sent me a sweet email when I mentioned the ex at the job. He sent and email that said something like “Im sending you a hug mentally….. one sec….. ok done. :)” It was actually nice, as I can see he is paying attention to me now and acknowledging and supporting me. 🙂 Yeah it does feel nice when someone listens to you and what you say you need. So far so good with B since I read him the letter before Thanksgiving.
He also talked to me some about owing taxes, he made a mistake he said when he did his 2000 taxes with some investments or something. And he owed money and now it has a penalty fee on it, so he wants to get it done before they crack down on him. So he said with all the part time night work he did the past 5 days he made just about enough to pay it all off. 🙂 Good for him! He was going to get some things for his car tonight, change out a tail light and something else small. He said hed come out tonight but with working non stop he needed a day to rest and recoop which I understand.
Tonight when I made the shrimp my little one said “Mommy next time you make this can we get 2 packs of shrimp and invite B over?”
🙂 Aweeee its just cute when your kids ASK for the guy your seeing to come over.
Oh and I called the Outreach where my support group was. My counselor and group leader left about 2 weeks ago, they still did not have a replacement for her today when I called. But the lady who runs the front desk and was watching the kids during group left me a message to tell my children hello. I thought that was sweet. I just cant believe my group doesnt exsist there anymore. How for the past year or so Ive been going to that building several days a week, and now there is Nothing. Kids groups gone, counseling gone, support group gone. But I do have a list of about 8 of the ladies phone numbers. So I do need to make some calls. Just hectic during the month of December.
Well I guess thats it for now.