Made Him Happy

Dear Diary,

Good Morning.

Got home from work yesterday and skipped the gym. It was also starting to rain. Had some time to kill before getting kids to drop off at Moms, then go to class.

I was bringing film to watch. So I arrived a little early. So teacher was all “Ohhhhhhhhhh look at that”

Class was really small last night, about 10 people.

So let me just say, in the words of B when he decribes his love for rebuilding computers and playing with computer parts, he will say things like “oohh yeah, Ive got a stiffy” or woody or insert “Im about to cream my pants”

Referring to the thrill he gets from such things, and my teacher reminded me so much of him in that sense. But his is the love for film.

He was drooling over the stuff, prepped his projector and cleaned it really good he said, he was too cute I tell ya. And during some of the watching he was laughing out loud which in turn made us all laugh cause of his goofy laugh, and then he was ooohing and ahhhing camera angles, etc. He was just so thrilled afterwards. And we had a nice discussion on new technology and how its good but theres also something to be said for watching a film on a projector with the flickering light.

The lady next to me is all “Oh hes so happy, his smile is ear to ear” The sound was poor for one reel and I was a little embarrassed, but it was an old print and he didnt give a care, he was still drooling and in awe over it.

So friday hes coming to my work, hmmm I really wonder what hes gonna think of the place. 🙂 I cant wait to see his eyes.

Also the spaz guy showed me something hes working on. He kinda grows on ya, hes annoying yet loveable (eeeks reminds me in many ways of the way my ex was when I first met him)

He came and grabbed my shoulder when walking by while teach was talking about the films Im brought, sort of a “You did good, thanks” pat on my shoulder, hes all chummy with teach, hes the one who gave me his card last week.

After class came home, played online a bit, spoke to B on the phone, then ended up calling Music dude and talking a little, He and I had a talk online before I went to class. Hes all “You are over me huh?” Im all ??????? Hes all “Since you saw me, you are over me arent you?” Im like “We are friends, what do you mean Im OVER YOU, Im not WITH you to begin with” and this put us into a good long dialogue and I was able to tell him I care about him but I see him being destructive and unhealthy to himself, and that as a friend I feel friends can say such things, and he told me to stop. That I wont just say what he wants to hear or else Im not a real friend. He was open to all I said and in agreement. And I told him as long as he stays on that path hes not gonna attract a healthy relationship, and he cant look to find a woman to make him change, its gotta come from him. Hes all “Man people think I have a great life, and I dont” And to be honest, yes Im aware he doesnt. He goes to work, and exsists on a combo of anti depressants, pot, ciggs, and eating very little. The only passion he really has or hobby right now is skiing. And I told him that is awesome, and do more of it, which he is trying to go this weekend. But other then that hes work, then home, in the dark hole in Hollywood. Sure it looks really cool his pad and all, but there is something dark about being there. I cant explain, but you can just feel the opression, the darkness.

So we spoke for awhile last night, I really hope he can pull out of his hole. He said to me on the phone “Im not high tonight” and I said YAY! Hes all “YOu have me all wrong, like you think Im high every night” I said “NO I never said that, more like 3-4 times a week?” Hes all “Yeah thats about right” ummm duh, like thats any better. And I told him I think his boss telling him he needs to smoke pot more was Bullshit. Thats my opinion I told him, take it or leave it.

So there ya have it, then I went to sleep. I dreamt about some man. Like it was some guy in my class, but really he isnt. Some older guy all nicely dressed asking me out after class. He was older and not really attractive under my standards, and he said he wanted to take me to eat after class. I accepted but told him I had an hour only to be home to get to my kids. He was a bit miffed and kinda threw a tantrum over my lack of availability and I said we could grab fast food and he was insulted and said he was not taking me to Taco Bell. So I said “Well perhaps another time when I have more time and you can choose a different place” And he got onto a big motorcycle that was all shiny and could tell was his toy, his baby. And thats all to the dream.

Well thats all!