bleh Morning
Dear Diary,
Morning. I still feel kinda bleh. I think I just feel a lot of uncertainty, confusion perhaps?
Its not that anything has exactly HAPPENED to ME. But its just everything around me?
The feeling to move is one aspect, the ex returning, wondering where this relationship between B and I will go or where can it go. Those pretty much top the list of what is going through my mind.
B and I did talk last night, then he was off to his friends suddenly to go and help him do something. I just went to bed last night around 11pm. No call from him that I remember or anything. He was talking before he left about how he is broke. I said “well it seems you need a job, with the job finding a place wont be a problem. So focus on the job.” He said how all of the jobs are South of him and too far to commute to. I asked “Well what kind of jobs are these?” He said “Well there are jobs like that nearby I guess, but these ones are advertising” I said to him “What kind of job do you want?” He said he didnt care. I said “Well if thats the case then you can find something closeby” He just said Ok and no more was said. I backed off also.
My oldest crawled in bed next to me this AM for about 15 min and cuddled up. I had to boot him out to get ready for school, but it was sweet having him come in. My little one carried on again this AM with his attitude. Im getting tired of this from him, its amazing to me how much nerve this little guy has and Im just in shock I guess at times he pulls this on me, his tone, his glares, his looks, just total attitude with me and he doesnt let up. I dont know how to stop it. Right now I have been telling him he is being very mean to me and that isnt ok and he has to go to his room until he is ready to be nice. It just makes things difficult. 🙁
He is so much like his Dad its scary. Family and friends even notice it, down to his looks, walk, mannerisms, expressions.
Well I dont know what else to write at the moment. I just wish I could just escape this life and have a fresh new one. 🙂