Update on Moi

Dear Diary,

Ahhh what a nice feeling this morning. Its almost 9am tuesday morning as I write this entry.

B came out Sunday night after work. He stayed over and I was off to work early. Well he stayed at my house, worked on my computer some, then came and took me out for lunch at the mall. Work let me go for an hour 🙂

He then came back and just hung out in my office reading a book until I was off. It was kinda neat. I just worked, we were quiet. And it was cool, we were just there together.

Well bosses wifey came in and we got to talking and B interacted with her much more for the first time. Hes met her a few times but its always brief and he seems so nervous. But he was relaxed and they talked quite a bit and I went back to work!HA!

I then headed to the post office and B went to my house to wait for me. He put a casino game on my computer for me to practice for Vegas. Hes taught me to play BlackJack so far, he is a BlackJack dealer to begin with so its kinda fun.

I swear that man is just so dang sexy!

I could care less about the game and was kissing all over his arms and neck distracting his game. :)~

So we had a bit of “Alone” time before getting kids and my group. Well B offered to watch my kids during group! Wow an hour and a half with my kids alone. haha. So I said ok, and said “Victoria, hes offering, take him up on it, also find out how he does with the kids”

So yeah I was a little nervous. Thinking Id come home to them in trouble sitting in their rooms and B just playing on the computer. Well ASSUMPTIONS my dear. I came home to them all camped out in the living room with there blankets and toys, B reading the instruction manual to oldest Star Wars board game and my little one resting on Bs back with his arms around him. They all looked so contented. 🙂 So it was a wonderful site to come home to I must say.

I made dinner and B and my oldest played the board game for quite sometime, My little one was going nuts wanting to play, but I had him at the table doing his homework. This was his first night with REAL homework. So hes going to have to adjust to working harder since hes getting to be a big guy too.

B said the kids and he had some intersting discussions, Mainly about tattoos, body piercings, and B having glasses and his sight.

B brings new elements to our world that they havent really experienced. So they are curious and full of questions.

We all had ribs for dinner. And just kicked back watching tv, then my stomach was killing me, something upset my stomach, it was bugging me that day but by evening I was in the bathroom about 3 different times, bleh. But B just snuggled up with me. The kids said when I got home from group “Mom, can B stay the night again?” Haha they were all worried he was leaving like sitters do when I get home. I said “Well thats up to B” He stayed 🙂

So the kids are now aware B sleeps over and in Mommy’s room.

I love having B in my bed. God that man is so wonderful to look at. When I get up I just like to come back and stare at him. He is so snuggly but its just him, his smell, his look, he doesnt snore, he doesnt have horrible breathe in the AM I can actually kiss him. I dont have to put a pillow over my face to block the smell. (ex stuff)We sleep so well together, it just feels so right.

So this AM I got up and rubbed his back and chest a little laying next to him. Then got up for work. When I came back in he was snuggled up with the Teddy Bear “Cornelius” that he gave me, its just sooo cute, he does stuff like that.I lay there and think about all that B has been through, about his rough spots, but also how tender and warm and sweet he is also.

I love him 🙂

I heard a terrible story yesterday about a Sociopath ex. I just related some similarities about the way my ex has behaved with me and now is starting with the kids. I pray to God things to happen like what i heard. But just listening to mind games and manipulation people do to children in divorces and court proceedings.

Well In Law called again Sunday night and left a message saying “Hi boys, Its Gma, Im not supposed to call you at home anymore so Ill talk to you when you are with your daddy, byeeeee!”

::::eyeroll:::::

Then ex called and wanted to talk to me left a message calling my name then saying “Hi Victoria, I just want to ask you a Non Confrontational Question” His cell number wasnt working, he keeps switching numbers, not sure why but sometimes he doesnt answer a certain phone that he starts to use, then stops and goes back to another one after several mos. So later kids called him. He asked each of them to give me the phone, that he wants to talk to me, When our court papers state we talk through voice mail and email and only regarding the children. So I once again went to the bedroom with the phone and hung it up and didnt say anything to him. I walked out of my room and my oldest said “MOM!” I told him “Huney Dad isnt supposed to call me, he can email me on the computer” He said “Oh then I cant talk to my Dad anymore” I said “YOu can, you always can, you can call him whenever you want ok, this is just for mommy”

So I was really bugged.I went immediatly and wrote ex an email. This is the kinda stuff manipulators do. Games, using kids then trying to make me look like the bad one for hanging up and how “Nice” he is and Im not.

So here are our emails…

“Our paperwork states that we are to correspond through voice mail and emails and to keep it regarding the children. Do not call for me on the telephone. Do not ask the boys to hand me the phone or to talk to me. That puts them in the middle of things.

Thank you,

Victoria”

Received this the next day..

“Your right and I apologize for that. I wasn’t meaning to do

that.

I have been learning a lot about myself lately, lol… I have gotten

“help”; and have learned a little about myself, kinda wanted to say

thank you. But still not perfect. Anyways once again I apologize for

putting the kids in the middle.

Regards, Ex”

I responded with..

“As far as sending me a letter that says you are getting “help” So if you mean what you say SHOW IT by the way you treat people. And show it long term. Its the whole “Actions speak louder then words”

I wish you well, take care,

Victoria”

As much as my heart wants to believe my ex is getting HELP. I have also been through that many times also. He thinks if he sits down with a pastor or goes to a counseling session hes had some major break through. And that Im supposed to just jump in open arms and say “Oh Ok all is forgiven”

When a person makes threats of your being a mother and your children sexually acting out because of YOU, thats treading to dangerous territory. I am NOT cool with that. So I cannot trust a person or people who will use children as tools for manipulation and threats. That is NOT ACCEPTABLE to me.

I heard a terrible story at group about a sociopathic ex, and things he did with the kids after they were apart, and well I can see resemblances in my ex and his behavior. It was an eye opener. I pray to God it doesnt go that way as this woman experienced, but it was very informative.

I have to look at the evidence of my ex, he says that letter yet…

Already failed to pay his court order support order for this month.

Hasnt paid the kids health insurance for months

Removed us all from the dental plan when I have a child who needs $500 worth of work, and I looked thru my emails yesterday, My ex has just been lying and putting me off, he told me in APRIL he had the dental plan, even called me asking me if I wanted the policy number had me get a pen! And then said he couldnt find it at that moment. And that was APRIL!!!!!!!!! Still NOTHING. Hes full of BS.

So Im supposed to believe this person?

In other news, my new attny office called to get Exs info, said they are doing the wage assignment. I said “Wasnt it done by old attny?” She said “NOPE” She called and found nothing was done or submitted to the courts!!!!!!! They lied to me! That is just wrong. Im not sure what action I can take or how to report a attorney. But I know now for a fact they are full of BS. That happened all the time when I used them. They would tell me they were doing something, and I called about things often 3 times to ask the status. I was told that the paperwork was submitted to the courts about 2 mos ago! I called again and she said the papers hadnt come back yet. Then Im told by new attny there was NOTHING done????

Thank you Lord Im out of there. And it was my attorney who placed me with this new one. Isnt that strange? Im just glad he did.