Will B Change?

Dear Diary,

Ok so B says “Victoria I know that I love you, but something just keeps going way left between us, I know I wanted to see you this weekend but what happened?”

So we had a big talk that something just isnt working between us, but what is it. So we had to talk about what we each have for expectations. He says his door is always open and Im welcome anytime, I told him with my life its different but that he is welcome anytime to CALL or ask to come see me, ANYTIME, and it may not always be yes, but im not bothered by him for asking. Its like hes busy waiting for me to give him the go ahead, and Im waiting for him to show that he even wants to, so both of us are at these weird standoffs with one another. He said He was sorry, that he wants to see me, and that he wants to spend time with my children, that he will start calling me and asking, and he already did this AM with me online asked about coming over tonight.

I said not today, just had a busy day with the kids and they are with Gma all day then will be in group kids room while Im in my therapy group tonite, so they need a break with Mommy.

I told him Im off at 3 tomm and he is free all week. Sooo.

So I guess Im still willing to give it a shot? Im scared. And I want to be careful. I feel like a fool partly, but I guess last night I felt it finally broke through and was understood what Ive been saying I want.

But Im not ready to seal this in stone. And Mr C. He just sent me a message saying “Snuggling and falling asleep with you is AMAZING” on my instand messenger.

So I have no idea how all this is gonna go. But I will be watching B and seeing if he really makes this change.

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