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He wrote back again, I dont know if hes right.. Im confused right now…
“Its like you say all of this and I wnt to react. I really do. Say something elscalte the situation, something. and then its like.. Hmm .. is this a reactionary thing between us… Commitment phobe reaction setting ground already? We come closer and then Blam auto defenses kick in??? Just seems kinda well timed to me. Like here we are making a step forward and then BLAM. Something that could quite easily destroy things, the preverbial landmine ya know?

Just whats hitting me at the moment…”

I wrote back…

“I dont know what it is. If I knew Id be okay and deal with it, but all I can do is sit here bawling at my desk.

Victoria”

He wrote again..

=0(
I love you. I did not intend for this when i said what I said.It was just a reaction to something I felt at the time and I am sorry.
I dont know what else to say or do to make it any better.
I can just listen to what you have to say.

Im sorry

B

I wrote back…

I warned you I could not get my thoughts out well or that you might feel attacked, etc etc

I am trying not to shut myself off, but letting you see the real me. All of me, not the part that runs and hides and goes and vents to others or doesnt tell you about how I feel or think. But with stuff like this, its like “Why even try when you know its gonna go bad?”

But I said what the hell, either you will be pissed or not, its me….

Thank you for the apology

He wrote again…

I am not pissed off.
I just am trying to come to a better understanding of the whole thing. I dont get all of it. I am just trying to grapple with this just as you are. I can only respond to things you have said.
We each have our spin, what we intended to say, what we said, what we heard, what we said back etc. Prolly 2 differant events if ya really look at it.

I dont see anyone being upset or angry yelling etc. we are just sharing thoughts, but I could be wrong I guess.