Not following Orders

Dear Diary,

Well my ex has called on 4 or 5 different DAYS, days not to call the kids.

Its only been a little over a week since we sat before a judge, and we agreed upon what days he can call here for the children, we wrote out the specific days and times. And my Ex has called still whenever he feels like it.

Its just frustrating, I hate having to have attorneys deal with such piddly crap, but its the only way to try and stop my ex from creating his own rules. This is court ordered and my ex agreed to it before a judge. So?

Bleh.

Also I need to just write a letter to in law and tell her not to call here. That she can talk to the kids when they are with their father. I dont want to deal with that woman, I dont trust her, and my kids dont ever ask to call her anyways. So that part of things my ex can deal with, I will not put people in our lives like that. I dont need her mentally messing with me or them. And she continues to call each week with her sickingly sweet I love you messages. Yeah Grandma, actions speak louder then words.

Had group tonight, was a nice time. Nice time of sharing. We talked about turning points in our lives.

Spoke to Mr C after work and on my way home. I notice how much I laugh with him, it feels really good to laugh and be light hearted. 🙂 I love the feeling.

He said “So when are we going out next????” I was kinda taken aback and I didnt want to respond. I kinda blew it off, but he told me next time I have to plan what we do, since he has the past 2 times. I guess Im kinda taking this as a day by day thing, and I have a hard time saying Ok this day we will do this at this point. I guess cause of my feelings for B, I dunno.

B left me an email tonight, hes bbqing at his friends, I am going to gather hes been drinking. Cause I can tell by the way he types and spells when hes had a drink. I have to admit at times I cringe at the idea of him drinking, hes a big boy, and hes done well since we have been together, he used to drink a lot when he lived at home, he even mentioned how when he went to a party sat night at a coworkers house that a girl from work said “Omgosh you drink!??” and he said how weird it was to hear that, that hes now such the other extreme where people even doubt he drinks, he commented on how well he was known in the past for having a drink or being drunk. Im ok with drinking, moderation. So I cant get all weird over it, I just prefer him sober is all. And during the week he is on his diet so that is sort of puzzling if he is drinking today, cause thats not allowed during his no carb week.

I tried to call him earlier but he hasnt been home. I had told him about coming over tommorow, and what time I was off work. I was thinking of actually making DINNER. We so rarely have done that. I think Ive made him dinner ONCE. So I pulled out some chicken and pork chops. He can eat meat and protein all during the week. And I guess just have him around the house for the afternoon and eve with the kids and I. See how it goes. Just hang out.

My mom commented today on how my kids were drastically different. Got along well and were calmer. She asked about their weekend. I told her we went out with a male friend of mine yesterday and he spent a lot of time and attention with them. She thinks it really did them some good, and I told my counselor about it and she said “The kids probably got some validation from it” I told Mr C today thank you for spending time with them. The kids were just overall calmer and happier.