Another Church Wife Abused

Dear Diary,

Well my kids are being super disobedient today. Mainly my youngest. Its frustrating big time. Its probably the excitement to seeing their Dad but it doesnt make it ok to behave like this.

Its tougher for me because Im so emotionally exhausted.

Well the letter came from Ex’s attny about the visit and him agreeing to my wishes about the In Law. So I will be taking the kids in about 30 mins to my moms for the drop off. I have talked to my kids. Prepared them best I can for their weekend. I pray it is a good visit for them all.

I drove by a girlfriends house today and caught her home. I havent seen her in about 2 yrs. Ex and I were still together. But she and I lived a few streets apart. We both we young christian wives, and she is dealing with an abusive spouse also. Shes never admitted to me he hits her, but I came over once and she had just claimed her husband accidentally hit her in the nose with his elbow, but she was crying. Shes a very soft spoken girl, very gentle. Very very sweet. But I know she is unhappy, we went to the gym together for awhile or sat at night talking in her car or at a restaraunt over pie. And today when she saw me she said “I didnt think you were still together” And we had a long talk.

She is thinking the same way. First its my girlfriend in San Diego, now this one, they are NOT upbeat about their marriages. And speak about leaving indirectly, she said “How is your family in all of this?” I told her they are very supportive, and she said “I would be alone if I left him, they would not be supportive” I love her so much, she is truly a sweet woman. And I know her husband mistreats her, but she hasnt reached the place yet. Plus she said hes rarely home, hes working and going to school so they rarely see him. She also has two beautfil toddlers.

She said to me “What is it with men and violence???”

I hugged her as I left, we both agreed we need to spend time together again. I do miss her. It was nice to just give her a hug, and I did let her know, because at one point she began to say something about her husband then stopped herself and said “Im trying to stay positive” I answered “M, you know I know what has gone on, we talked a lot and our spouses were very similar and so are our situations”

Im dressed for the gym, Im going after I drop off the kids. I havent seen that guy in almost a month who works out with me and helps me out, so I hope hes there. Im almost tempted to ask him if he wants to go out to dinner tonight and talk. Here I have this weekend ahead, and I really dont know what to do. I want to do things, but as far as those to share it with I dont know about, on the other hand I spend all this time dwelling, isolating myself I feel I need to lighten up and get my mind off things.

I got a little pissed off with this guy last night who wanted to talk about being horny after I told him I was crying.

Boyfriend said hello to me this AM, but nothing else online, just said he was off to work.

I dont know how to feel about him at this point. I dont really desire to see him tonight or drive out as I had planned. But I dont know.