Smell Fiend

Dear Diary,

Its about 1am. I fell asleep around 8 then was awoken about 10:30 by the telephone. A girlfriend returning a quick call, then the boyfriend calling shortly after. I was in bed in a half dazed sleep. He said “Do you want me to let you go?” I said No, I wanted to hear him, I love talking to him. So umm needless to say I finally hung up about 20 min ago. 🙂 Thank God for CNM Network. $25 a month for unlimited calls in my state. My phone bills would be so outrageous without it.

Why is it Im so into smells right now. Into the smell of my boyfriend? Im fascinated as to how the body functions and why we respond to things. Why do I have such a craving for his scent? I just smell his shirt, when I was with him I was pressed against his chest just inhaling. Mmmmm I love it so much. Its not really a sexual craving, its just I find his smell so intoxicating and comforting. But I do enjoy the attraction between us. The part of me that can express myself openly without shame. That I can be a sexual being and no longer supress or hide that part of me. There is a newfound freedom in that for me. Its not that Im out sleeping around, its quite the contrary. Ive been with one man other than my Ex. But I started out as the teenage Christian girl saving herself for marriage, who was torn with guilt over sexual urges and feelings and just my whole way of learning and viewing my sexual side became so tweaked.

Now Im a 29 yr old woman, far from that 16 yr old when I met my Ex. I can be a new woman with this man. I Love it.

Boyfriend told me he was questioned at work today by a coworker about me, since we stopped in together 2 weeks ago. She said “Hey was that your girlfriend with you?” and he said he stopped for a second, We werent at that time but he responded “Well yes it is” haha I love it, I told ya Im a giddy schoolgirl. I obviously didnt date much in my former life.