Scratches on His Arm

Dear Diary,

Morning.

I was supposed to be home a little longer this AM, the Shower demo is starting today but the guy called and he has to travel to a neighboring city for the Jackhammer. So I just told him to call my MOm when hes got it.

B came out last night, we were talking on the phone yesterday and I said “Were you coming out today?” Hes all “Umm I dont know, do you want me to?” I said “Well last night you asked me if I wanted you to come out and snuggle me Sunday and I said yes” Hes all “Well I can”

Well he didnt eat all day, he gets low blood sugar, he was acting weird, I just told him to go make a protein shake and then go get something to eat and call me back, he reminds me of myself when I used to get in that state, cant think right, irritable, and I just needed to eat, and my therapist went over that with me long ago and Ive corrected that problem big time ever since ( not letting myself get into that state) So B does it.

Anyways, he said he was leaving…

Well he didnt arrive, I was wondering what was up, He finally got to my house after 8pm. He should have arrived well over an hour or so ago. So I walk outside to greet him and his face is in that serious look and he says out loud “Have I ever mentioned how much I hate driving out here?”

I just looked at him and gave him a hug, I asked what was up. He said “Ive been driving for the past 2 1/2 hrs, the fires on the freeway, bumper to bumper traffic, I finally got off, went and turned around, then took the back mountain route, it was either that or turnaround and go home” I said “Well if you have to go home, then you have too”

We got in the house, then he put his stuff down, and gave me a real nice hug. He said to me “And besides I wanted to come out and see your painted hallway and snuggle with you” I laughed and said “Oh cmon, I think you were just horny” He said “Well that too, what you didnt like the way I vieled it with my other explanation?”

I wasnt in the mood for sex once again, didnt iniate, didnt mention it, I just snuggled. Whats been ringing through my head as of late were some words B used to say “Foreplay starts way before the bedroom” That was his famous line, and I liked it and still do and believe its true. Its how you treat the other person day to day and all of that. And well, the rest of the time just feels so void. I dont feel it, so if he asks what is up with me, I will just tell him that.

Its like right now Im so acutely aware of his negativity, every little bit that comes out. Him talking about the driver he got stuck behind doing 35mph and cursing about it.

He also asked me if I wanted a massage over the phone the day prior, I said yes, he even said it had been awhile since hed given me one, which is true, but I didnt bring it up, Neither did he, that was my bad, I will have to next time as he told me he would do it. I need it. 🙂

He invited the kids and I to come stay as his roomate will be gone, I only have the kids 2 more nights till their Dad comes and have no idea how long the guys will be working on my bathroom today, so we shall see if I decide to make a trip with the kids. There is still the issue also with the fires near a section of the fwy and lanes being blocked off, so I dont know,

We have had fires all around this area for well over a week now, on the weekend the smoke all traveled into my city clouding the skies and the smell in my house and ash in the air, the Moon was red in the sky as the sun was going down.

Anyways, around 6pm or so Sunday eve my youngest comes in and says the neighbor hubby wants to talk to me. Im all Wow, whats he doing here. So I go out and hes holding his daughter and on his cell phone talking, I just stood there and waited till he was done. He was all sweaty, I noticed 3 scratch marks on his arm, and then right at his wrist a nick with a little blood.

He is saying “That guy is gonna get her pregnant and hooked on cocaine!”

So he hangs up and I invite him in, he just tells me that he came over to check her cell phone, that his wife is having an affair and he needs to see her phone for proof for his case. Im just listening, its Cali, we are a no fault state, its not about proving adultery. They dont want to hear that.

Anyways, he said his wife was in the house, he went over while she was just getting out of the shower and he got her cell phone and checked the text messages.

Then he tells me “Shes on cocaine” I said “Are you sure?” Hes all “Well shes not sleeping and shes not eating”

My neighbor already told me he was accusing her of using coke because she has lost 15 pds. She looked at me and said “Vicky, its called stress”

I dont know either way you know, I dont think shes using drugs, but I really dont know.

I mean yes stress will do that, its totally normal, especially when going thru a marriage falling apart.

So he said he wasnt leaving the house, that his sister told him to stay as it will look likes hes abandoned it.

So all I could say to him was “Look Im not going to take sides with either of you, all I can tell you guys is dont fight around or act stupid with your children there” Hes all “Oh no we just fight at night” Idiot, kids still know whats up and hear it.

The wife told me she also was telling him my exact words, he has no regard for the kids and what hes doing. Its so scary as it all reminds me of how my ex handled things, her situation reminds me of mine.

Anyways, she left shortly after, and then next thing you know her sister and bro in law pull up and another family member of hers.

Im not sure whats going on, but it reminds me of when I left home that first time to a guys place. My ex called my family, friends, church people and told them Id lost it and abandoned my children and everyone was calling me up. I was all “You guys have no idea whats been going on, Im okay, I just had to get out of there”

My sisters first husband did this crap also. “Gathering their allies” going to everyone on your side to draw them to their side.

He told me “Shes not talking to her family even, just her brother” I said “Well Ive seen her mom and sister here, different family members each day all week” Hes all “Her mom came over to clean the house since I used to do it”

Sorry that just was BS to me. All I know is she was up sat AM, the wife mowed the front and back lawn herself which he didnt keep up with. She was home all weekend with the kids.

But who knows, im an outsider.

As he left my house he said to me “Oh my daughter got a new bike and thats why I have these marks on my arms…..” Its like why on earth did he give me an explanation for his scratches when I didnt ask? And Im sorry a 2 yr old and a bike causing that kind of scratches?

In my mind I envisioned the wife grabbing her cell phone from him or them getting into a struggle. I really want to talk to her.

I dont know whats going on, but she said he pulled his gun out and hes slapped her, and I wonder what happened.

My mom said to me last night “Arent you glad all of this is over in your situation?”

Its like yuck, I used to be in the midst of all this….