Loyalties

Dear Diary,

Morning, I dont think im going to church, called D last night for service times and left a message but havent heard back, and I really dont want to go alone, they might not be in town or something.

I just got an email. I email a lot during the week with my gal pal S. She is the sister of my neighbor (the husband, the ones who just split up)

Anyways, she wrote me and said “Have you heard whats going on with them?” I kept it brief and said yes I heard from their son their parents are divorcing.

When it gets into two different families, I know how loyalties can be. And Im also in the awkward position. Having known both the husband and wife, and going to events with the families, our kids playing together, and THEN, being buddies with HIS sister. And I already got an email from her about it. Im going to stay out of it. Each side will have their own thoughts. Its just weird you know? The guy is a nice guy and all, but hes been working crap jobs, she supports the family, he is home all day, playing on the computer, the baby isnt cleaned up, Ive seen the son outside the one day saying his Dad didnt wake up to take him to school,,, and then she telling me she leaves food for the kids and he isnt serving them the food, giving them baths, etc.

And then that he pulled a gun on her. Just makes me wonder if his family knows that part…

Anyways, this is what the sister said…

“I don’t know what exactly is going on next door to you. Naturally my loyalties are with my brother. I am seething right now, and it’s not going to be pretty. The whole thing is going to get very ugly, that is a guarantee. I feel really bad for Joe and those kids. He left the house, but she left him. Two weeks before their second wedding anniversary. I mean, who does that? Whatever. I am too pissed to think about it.”

Sighhh, she is very dramatic and she would do stuff even when we had our college class, make a scene, so Im sure its a family trait. It saddens me to be honest. That she says she doesnt know exactly what is going on, but its going to get ugly, yada yada, hey there are kids involved! People dont act stupid! Regardless of who feels who is right or wrong, dont act stupid, you do hurt the kids. 🙁

So yesterday I didnt answer my phone for the first half of the day. It rang and rang, I think about 5 times, no messages, then my cell which shows the number. It was B.

I started watching Under the Tuscan Sun, I was out back, I just didnt want to answer and talk. I didnt know what to say. I just felt all weird. So finally I answered, I had started working on painting more of the hall trim and was listening to the Stacey Orico album B bought me. Shes a christian and I hadnt really listened to much of the album so it was the perfect positive thing I needed to play.

So I basically talked to him quite a bit, but never said “Are you coming over?” He was asking about the silent movie thing, I didnt ask him to come, so he didnt ask to come out either, but we talked on the phone.

So after I got in last night from the SIlent movie, around 10:30 we talked for a long time, And my biggest area where I feel loneliness is bed time, I just want to snuggle up. Really that is a big issue with me and often all I have wanted in relationships, but you cuddle with most guys and they want to make moves on you.

So he said “How about I come out tomm and snuggle you?” I said okay.

Im just in a place to start changing my own attitude, and its not about him, I cant blame him for holding me back or any of that, its time for me to start changing mine, and will see what happens between us as a result.

My neighbor was up yesterday AM, with music playing, she mowed the front and back lawn herself (first time Ive seen that!) Her hubby hadnt been keeping up with it even though he was not working.

She was talking on her phone in her backyard laughing, Her mom and bro, and sis came by too,

It reminds me of when my ex moved out and I felt so good like I could breathe and was FREE without him looming around. Im suspecting shes feeling the same thing.

Well Im gonna scoot for now……

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