New Years with my Man

Dear Diary,

Well Goodmorning. 🙂 I took work off today to be with my kids on their first day home instead of just seeing them before bed then work all day and them with my Mom. That first day back they just want to be homebodies anyways, and well its been a WEEK!

And for once I didnt get mopey sad children when they returned. It was long enough for them to appreciate home again. 🙂

But most of all time to play with their Christmas presents that they only got to see for a day before the left.

I decided not to to out of town for New Years. Just didnt really feel like it. So I asked B if he would just come over and spend it with me. He said that was fine as he wasnt feel too well, scratchy throat.

I made us dinner, Salmon and Shrimp. Then I made Apple Crisp with Ice Cream for dessert. He liked my dessert! haha. Im not much of a cook so when you get a compliment it feels really nice.

He called up his old roomie for some Champagne advice. And picked up a bottle of something at Trader Joes on his way out.

I rented 3 movies. The video rental place was NUTS and the movies were so picked over. So I had to really pour through all the shelves. We watched “The Story of Us” and then stopped it at midnite. He opened the Champagne bottle. It was the type with the cork that will fly out, hed never opened one like that neither had I. So that part was kinda fun. I screamed and it flew across the kitchen, heehee.

We toasted at midnite, and he gave me a good kiss. 🙂

It was nice, just him and I. House quiet and warm.

We went to bed, well I did, it was after 1am, and he was still watching TV and I passed out.

We slept in till like about 10:30am, ahhhh!

My phone rang as we laid in bed, I didnt answer, the machine picked up and it was my friend D. The christian mom of 3 who contacted me at Halloween regarding her marriage. I havent really spoken to her since then, we talked about getting together, but that never turned up. And well I just let it go. I wasnt going to make effort to be there when she was flakey. So I figured if she wants to talk or get together shed call. And she did.

I called her back a little later and laid in bed next to B and spoke to her. She said her husband said hes going to file for divorce today. She said the whole church now knows, and she was still seeing the gardner. But she said last week the Gardner became a christian, told her he couldnt see her until she gets things figured out, that it wasnt right. She was saying how she needed that push.

Shes a little flighty with her words right now. I know whats it like since I was in her shoes before. Church members are coming over to tell her to stay married. They are siding with her husband. She feels she is going to loose her kids and everything. I reassured her that wont be the case, Cali is a no fault state. She is a stay at home Mom who has homeschooled. She is not by any means unfit. Her husband doesnt really even interact with the kids and thats been a fact. Hes a work work, into his money guy. And she told me hed rather spend his evenings in the office pouring over his bank books and business records.

So I reassured her not too listen to what he says. And she asked me about attorneys and does she need one. I told her yes. She has no access to their finances, no credit cards, and she is not on the bank accounts, he has total control over all that. She also went through the books of a at home business she started and found her name signed to some things for $2000 and this is money she has never seen.

So she really needs some legal advice. They are married well over 10 yrs and the man has money.

She then said that 2 church women had asked her if her husband was Gay. And she was taken aback by that. She then said “Victoria? Have you ever thought that?” And I said “YES” She was shocked. I have no proof he is Gay, but you know there are people you meet and the vibe right off the bat is that? I told her ” I have no proof and it doesnt mean he is, but yes he does give off that impression” She then talked about their sex life, How he only wants to have sex with her from behind, he doesnt make eye contact, sex they dont connect, he does his thing and hes done. And she just felt this is what God had for her.

We did talk quite a bit about God too.

Anyways, shes really been on my mind. I will be there for her in the ways that I can. I want to make her a sheet from the womens group I attended of what records and paperwork she needs for divorce. Since he seems to have control over all that and she is still in the house, she needs to do what she can to get copies and records etc, Because what will she have to prove in the divorce if he is the only one with access? She needs to arm herself.

She called the gardner man and told him about the divorce and he said he would talk to her, so she was going over there yesterday afternoon.

B and I snuggled in bed, and then made love, and ohhh boy once again I was such a happy girl. 🙂 I also told him I was sorry for being so negative and pointing out faults all the time instead on focusing on what I am happy about and what I do love about him.

Not that everything he does Im okay with, but there are wonderful things I do love about him too.

We then got moving, haha well after 1pm. We showered, made turkey and cheese sandwhiches and I put cimmamon rolls in the oven. We then sat down to watch “Amilee” (Spelling?) It was a really cute movie. I recommend it! B suggested it, and well it was very cute. Foreign film.

After that we just laid on the couch, he did get my computer up and running. When he arrived on New Years he even Bought me a new modem for it. 🙂 So my old computer is fully intact and I have another monitor, so I can set it up for the kids, yet still have everything saved on it.

B and I watched all those “I Love the 80s” Shows on VH1 and laughed a lot. Kids then arrived, and they were sweet as can be and all into their toys. I fixed them hot dogs with chocolate milk for dinner. They were happy! And then I served them the apple crisp with ice cream. They were happy again! heehee

My little one wanted to play with and do everything but I had to tell him to chill out since it was near bedtime and we have all day tomorrow to play.

My oldest came over and hugged me and said “Happy New Years Mom” and then he went over to B on the couch and hugged him and told him Happy New Years also. It was sweet.

Kids went to be really good. My Mom gave them Dream Catchers for Christmas and they both commented on them above their beds, they really like them.

So they were both really good. B and I watched some more tv, then went to my room about 10pm. We watched South Park then he turned the tv off and we went to sleep. He had the clock set for 5am for work. Well he didnt get up as usual. He got up at about 7:45. I made him warm salt water to gargle for his throat, then he was off for work. He will have a late day at the office going in this late.

I told him I loved him and kissed him goodbye this AM in the drive way.

My girlfriend D called this AM asking if “The 4 of us” could get together this weekend, Meaning the gardner, her, me and B Im sure. I dont see her wanting her soon to be ex there.

I have the kids this weekend so cant go out, but they can come over and hang out if they would like, or I might be able to swing just going out to dinner and have mom watch them briefly, otherwise the following weekend. So Ill call her back later on.

So Im home today, camped out in my jammies with a good nites sleep. B is back to work, kids are back home and appear to be in good moods. They did see their other Grandma, I havent heard much about it, but they had their christmas presents from her. My youngest when he did get in the door last nite said “Mom, Dad wants the old computer to fix it”

UGH! What the hell is up with him??? Hes been bugging me since last year. I have been writing about this. Its FIXED! Ive told him 3 times! And he even sent his uncle over to ask me about it to FIX it??? And I told the Uncle I had it taken care of, and that was AWHILE ago! I wrote my ex a few weeks ago and told him once again ITS FIXED!

So he tells the kids to tell me that? Does he listen?? Um No obviously. And he keeps saying “Look I dont want it for myself, I want it for the kids and Ill give it back!” Umm yeah right, like I believe that one? Why is he so insistent on having it. B said “Just tell him I have it” I laughed, but its like B has worked on all my computers, gave me the hard drive and all that and got the old computer running, No way my ex is getting it.

And they also said he told them hes buying them their own cell phone. He said this last year also. I even told my old attny about it and he said “Umm certainly not” So not sure if Ex is just talking again or what. B was in the room when the kids said it. And B looks at me and says “Ummm Why?” I agreed with him its silly. My ex has scheduled times to call the kids. And Im not having a 6 and 8 yr old carry a cell phone all the time for him to reach them. Its ridiculous. Also my ex claims he has no job, no money, yet he can afford to buy them a phone and pay for service. Its idiotic. And I said “Well even if he did buy them the phone, Im not letting them carry it. It will sit stationary and they can call him when they are HOME, and Ex can call them on HIS nights and times to call.

But I know he wants access to them whenever he wants, and well it doesnt work like that. Im not carrying a phone when we were are out for him to reach them.

My Ex has to go to court Mon. For the motion to compel evidence. I dont have to be there, so Ill be curious to hear how it goes though, They are seeking he also pay me attny fees for causing all this delay and paperwork.

Well gonna go for now! Later!