So Lost

Dear Diary,


Im just sitting here crying. Im doing laundry in a hurry before getting the kids to leave tonite.


I feel so incredibly lost right now.


My babies wont be here at all. I have no idea if Im even going to see my boyfriend or how he will respond to me. I just need him to come and hold me, tell me he loves me and its going to be ok. I feel like that is too much to ask though of him.


I dont think at this point I can bare the idea of hanging out with my family. Its just the watching families, noticing where I am at, that mine is lacking, It will remind me of the holes missing. No kids, a shitty boyfriend, my marriage gone.


I dont know where to turn. Where to go.


I just want to be loved and held.

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