Not a 1 Nite Stand Girl

Dear Diary,

Morning. Well emotionally so far I feel better today. I felt better actually after that cry and the getting the news about the tax credit coming early.

I talked to B before he went to bed. Hes working friday after Thanksgiving, but said we can leave Fri night if we want to San Diego. I was trying to find these cute little vacation rentals there but no luck last night. Also hes been mentioning a Bed and Breakfast so I was browsing those last night too. So Im going to look some more today and I guess tell him to look online when he can? But might be better to leave Sat AM and get a room for one night, if we leave friday we will get in late, or else get a cheaper regular hotel for first night since we wont be there long. Ohhh I need this! I so need to get away from here. But I also have to wait to get my paycheck to make sure the credit shows up this time. 🙁 Regardless we will still go to San Diego. But if I will have some money I want to at least pitch in half for the room or something like that. I also know I want to go and eat in Old Town San Diego, 🙂 I want to take B to the house tour Villa Montezuma! Ohhhh I cant wait!!!!!!

B said he could probably come up friday night. So we shall see.

I watched a fascinating show on PBS about some unnamed bodies from the Titanic that were buried. And flash forward to the future and the graves being dug up, DNA testing to try and figure out who they were. Once they dug two of the graves were flooded with water, no remains found. So the last one was that of a child and was sitting on higher ground. THe only remains left was a small piece of an arm bone and a few teeth. So they said the bone was the worst sample they have ever seen. Then they had to go through the guest lists of the ship, find relatives and draw blood, do all the DNA, etc etc. It was so interesting! They went through about 3 different families, no match.

Well they finally did match it! There was a woman who was on board the Titanic from Finland, with her 5 children, coming to meet her husband in America. Well the older kids and her were separated in the shuffle for life boats. She was given a spot on a boat, but just had her little one with her, a woman said she saw the boys so she went and found them, she still had a place on the lifeboat, but they would only allow her and her youngest on and how the older children were crying “Mom dont leave us!” She never got on the lifeboat, and none of their bodies were ever found. And now the bone belonged to that of the baby.

It has been in a Unknown Child of the Titanic grave for almost 100 yrs.

Wow how amazing Science is and what we can do now!

I got back online and said hi to Music Dude. I was wondering if things were ok since he and I havent talked at all lately, and last we did talk he was sick. His name has been on but I never get a response. So last night he did respond. Told me he was terribly sick for 3 weeks. Sinus infection that spread, Had to go to the Dr and get antibiotics.

He then asks me about B. He always does that. I just stopped talking about him with him, it just is too weird. And Music Dude wants to talk about women hes dating or whatever. Its just really strange to me. Here we spent some time together. We talked every day, then it just ended. Its as if us being around eachother never happened. I dont switch gears that easily.

So he said “Did I tell you Im dating my assistant?” I said NO? Well turns out the girl he has been seeing, heck he was seeing her when I was around him, was his new assitant at work. And then he tells me “You know whats wild? SHe moved in” I just sat there and went WOW. I guess it bugs me in a way. That a person can so easily move from person to person, and I feel as if I didnt even exsist in it all. Granted Im in the B thing, but I still care about Music dude. Its just a really weird thing, and so last night Music Dude said “What you dont want to talk? You dont want to know about the relationship?” ANd I said “Its just really weird for me ok?” I told him I have stopped talking about B to him, its just strange now, yet he still continues to ask me about him. I dont ask, Im happy for him with whatever he wants to do, I just dont get around with people the way he does, my mind cant grasp it. Music dude said “Well I just wish we could go back to the way we were, and I hope we dont lose touch” I said “Huh? I wont lose touch, youve been a good friend and I love ya ok?” I just said its just strange right now, its as if us being together never exsisted. I literally left his place that last day when i said I wouldnt have sex. And well the phone calls stopped, the chatting stopped, time together stopped. It wasnt that I didnt want to be around him, or I wasnt attracted, I told him it was just too fast and I had things to figure out still. Anyways.

Its amazing how people pass through your life. At the time when your in it, things appear so different, and then you reflect back, just a month or so later and what was there wasnt really there? Or it wasnt what you thought?

I bond with people I care about. Im not a one night stand kinda girl.

Well this AM I awoke a little before 6am, but not on my own! I swore I heard my cell phone ringing, which was odd. I then heard the voice mail chime go off. So I got out of bed and played it. It was B, he called to just tell me he was leavign for work and that he loves me. 🙂