Frustrated at Other Parent

Dear Diary,

So I have a question. Just sorta want feedback from others.

My ex has only paid child support 2 1/2 mos this entire year to date. He was working up until September then got fired. So even when he was making money he wasnt paying me.

Now its just a little over 2 mos since he came back to Cali. Still claims he has no job. And now he cant pay me. First he wrote me when he moved here with 2 emails saying how much he was gonna give me and what days. But once again empty promises.

Now his cell phone is shut off, he claims he has no money to pay for it.

So he is living about 20 min out of town now with his 3rd new roomie. My Ex made good money, he also can pick up side work (under the table) no prob, He did it often when we were married. He even wrote me an email a month ago that said “I know you think Im doing side work but Im not!” when I never once accused him. Im not stupid, but Ive never said a word to him. So to me that was his guilt speaking.

So he has the kids this weekend, they go out to eat and get happy meals and toys, he drives out of town to his other aunts. And then he sends them back asking to take them Wednesday on a train and to a museum.

First off my oldest is in school. He had my little one ask “How important is it for him to be in school during intercession?” My son is in a program for the 4 week off track period that his teacher recommended for him to help with his reading where he wasnt doing as well as the other kids on.

So anyways, its just very frustrating for me. Some regards because my Ex has no been paying. Thats a big part of my anger. Taking responsibility, it has solely become my responsibility to care for these children, provide a roof over their head, work, do all school work and parental things. My ex is now seeing them every other week. After almost 2 yrs of seeing them a weekend every 2 months.

I guess Im pissed off. I dont really have money to do “fun” things and splurge or get extras for the kids. I even sent a note with my Mom for ex. I had to address one of our childs sleeping habits, and I asked him if he could help out with buying them socks. And here I feel all bad for asking for him to buy them SOCKS?

So if the man is broke and not working. How can he afford eating out and taking them for outings? Meanwhile it infuriates me. If he has money to spend, then cut me a fucking check of SOMETHING.

I just cant seem to get past this point with him. This is the hardest part of why its hard to become on good terms with him. Knowing he is avoiding responsibility and just playing fun time Dad. But leaving me all the burdens. Inviting the kids out on a school day without talking to me about it. My ex hasnt ever been involved in their education and homework. We used to get into talks about this. My Ex never finished high school, hes pretty much left off at a 8th/9th grade level. When we first got married I was so proud he enrolled in adult school, he only had to go once a week for a few hours. But he dropped out about 3 weeks into it. And he isnt smart enough to just go take his GED. So his math, spelling and reading skills arent to great. And I told him “What will you do if something ever were to happen to me? Those kids will need your help with school work” My ex still has probs with Multiplication and divide without a calculator. And my 3rd grader is just starting into multiplication.

Education is important. Being responsible is important. These are things I want instilled in my children.

So I just am frustrated with this. 🙁