Mental Breakdown

Dear Diary,

I keep forgetting to write this. The night I called my sisters and talked to her husband, when he was giving me advice on the EX mind games. He said “Did your sister call and tell about your Nephew?” I said No. Well its sad but good, its really hard to know how to feel about it all.

My sister was married to a very controlling abusive man for 12 yrs and they had one child together. Who is now 21. At 16 he had a breakdown after leaving his Dad. His Dad refused him any of his belongings, as he did to my sister after she left him. My sister got only the clothes on her back and her car. NOTHING else. So at 16 my nephew went to stay with his Mom. He was a teen when they split up and of course he wanted his home, his friends, his school, and she couldnt make him leave even though his father was sick. Its was BAD. Master manipulator, head game player with friends in the area who were Cops, get my drift?

So when my nephew asked for his things and he refused. My nephew at age 16 went into a rage and went in the garage and found a bat and proceeded to break the windows out in his Dads house. My sister and her boyfriend(now husband) were outside waiting to help him move his stuff. My sisters ex began to shout and call the police and say hes going to get him locked up. My sister and her man had to get him away in his wild fit away from there before the police showed up. My nephew cried and said “MOM! I wont let him do to me what he did to you! When you left I had to watch him destroy your things” That night at her apartment he locked himself in his room and began to sob like an small child. My sister didnt know what to do and called the police for help. They tried getting him to come out or open a window or the door. But the ended getting in the door somehow where my nephew was in the fetal position crying and throwing a tantrum my sister said resembling an infant. He was then taken to see many doctors and was diagnosed Bi Polar. From what I was told Bi Polar wasnt common at this young an age but can be brought on by a severe trauma? Or something like that I may be off.

So my sister was busy trying to get him help, and she did all she could but once he was 18 there was nothing else they could do. Hes an adult.

So the once super intelligent bright child who made us all laugh as a child is now in another realm. None of us really know what to do. We are all afraid to really help him and let him stay at any of our homes. And this is because he has done things to cause that, and me and my sister have small children. So my nephew has been thru group homes and things but he goes off and on his medication. When he is GOOD, he is GREAT. He can carry a full time job, have a girlfriend and live fine. When hes DOWN. He is content to live homeless. So the past few months he has been on the streets.

Well I guess friday night he showed up at my sisters, barged in the house and demanded money. My sisters husband has put up with so much from him. He breaks in their home when they arent there, he sleeps in the dessert beside the house, hes slept in their garage and backyard in a tent. The last straw was him making a fire outside and almost setting the whole place on fire. They were able to get him into a group home because he was a threat to the public with what happened.

So my Bro in law said he hurt my nephew, beat him up and had to fight him to get him out. My nephew proceeded to take breaks to his Mom and step fathers cars. They called the police, he had left but was later picked up and fought the police and was taken to jail. He was put in jail last year for fighting with police in an airport on a trip back from New York, so my Bro in law said he should have to stay for a longer time with this last episode. I asked him how my sister felt? He said “Relieved” I understood. My sister feels so much guilt and pain over her son. She wants to help him but cant and has tried. She feels best when hes in somewhere, problem is KEEPING him. So having him in jail he is fed, kept away from them, and hopefully will get back on his medication and all that.

Its just so sad to see. Its hard to understand. Its hard to help. And she is partly angry at the family for not “Helping” as she put it, but its like we are all getting to the point of fearing being around him. Last time I saw him he was carrying drugs while with me and bragging about it and yelling out the windows of my car. I took him back to my moms 2 hrs later knowing I couldnt handle him. And my parents have had to deal with him getting picked up for shoplifting and making 900 line calls while with them.

So I would like to find out soon where he is at, and try and go visit him. He and I spent a lot of time together as kids since we were the only ones around that were young at family functions.

We were talking about disorders, sickness, character Flaws, personality disorders and things like that at group yesterday. How some people have illnesses, some people its a character flaw, a predesposition. We talked about what causes this? And were discussing the way we are raised but then bringing up the point that there are wonderful people who were abused as kids and grow up to do great and wonderul things and become outstanding people. Its just all complicated.

What is happening to people? Its like everyone has a disorder anymore? Everyone needs a medication? I feel at times like some outsider.

I was out with Music Dude. And I know he went on anti depressants after his split with his ex. He was having a hard time. So when we were at the museum he mentioned to me he suffers from Panic Attacks. He is on the same med for it as ReallyRick on Dear Diary. I was quite interested to learn more. So I asked him “What is it like? What does it feel like?” He said “Actually, when we were out to lunch today I had one” He said something about how he dwells like to a certain part of his body and thinks of all these things wrong with it, this overwhelming feeling like something is wrong with his liver, or just anything” I had no idea he had one. He said he had his worst ever at Disneyland last year. And it was his ex and his daughter. And his ex would get mad at him and tell him “Your sick you need help!” and hes all “I am getting help!” Which he has, he said he hardly has them anymore. But I appreciated the honesty and openess with which he shared this. He said “You think Im a freak now?” Im all No. Because I dont. Hes one of the FEW people that are male I think Ive met who is aware of things, his emotional problems, his pitfalls, and can speak honestly about them. Who attends therapy, who seeks out medical help, who reads and tries to better himself. And well I really respect that about him. 🙂