Chance Gym Encounter

Dear Diary,

Well once again Im deal with idiot Ex’s. Just stupid stuff. He refuses to communicate with me and goes through the children(who are under the age of 7)And Im just getting really fed up. Then he pulled some crap over our childs birthday. Basically telling me hes taking them the whole weekend and I have birthday plans for him also. So I told him either pick a different weekend or he could have them partial of that weekend and he threw a total fit on me. I tried to call him and talk to him but he hung up on me, then said “IM CALLING YOUR ATTORNEY!” hmmm sound like a child? Which the attorneys can do squat since nothing is in writing at this point all because idiot head is stalling his getting served. Anyways, thats a whole nother story, and well not like its anything new with my ex right? But its nice I dont get so wound up and upset like I used to over it all.

So onto what else happened today. I stopped by to visit mom and we did our female talk bonding for about 30 minutes, then I went to the gym. Im normally go about an hour earlier but was running late. I got in and was working on chest when I saw this girl come in, I saw her yesterday, shes cute, but she for some reason caught my eye. Im a observer anyways and have a good memory with faces. So today she came in and got on the treadmill. I watched her walk in. Her face had that swollen like one has been crying look about it, she bit her lip a little as she walked. I was working out and glancing at her, she wiped her eyes. Im sure she was holding back tears now. And it just totally made me think of myself several months ago. I would go to the gym and do about 5 minutes of cardio and my eyes would well up with tears. All the stress and emotions would surface during exercising and I often felt like I wanted to just break down crying. So I watched her get off the treadmill and head to the bathroom. I listened to my instincts and went into the bathroom. I could hear her in the handicapped stall sobbing.

I didnt want to go to the door. I wanted to wait till she came out. So I just stayed in the sink area with the benches and lockers. Finally she came out wiping her eyes and I got up, there were several women in the restroom now. I said “Are you ok?” and she said “No” and I hugged her. I had no idea what was wrong with her. But something made me want to reach out. She was receptive to my approaching her, which you take a chance when someone is upset, some people want to be left alone.

She said she was dealing with so much. So we sat on the bench. She was muttering and crying and hard to understand and said “I cant believe Im talking to a total stranger” I said “Its ok, I saw you out there, I knew you were crying and I have felt the same way here myself in the past so I noticed you” she responded “God must have sent you to me”

I said “Is this over a guy” she said yes. She looked a bit younger then me, people always think Im not over 25, and she looked to me about 22 or so. She then says to me….

Im separated from my husband, Ive been having an affair, and Im a Christian” I about choked that she was so honest, but that at the same time she was in the same boat as things I have experienced. She went on to say her ex and new lover are abusive controlling possessive, how her heart is all torn, her morals tell her another thing, how shes tired of all this. I just hugged her, found out her lover was a minister. I said “Mine was a pastor for a brief period” she looked at me with shock, the more she said, the more we had in common. I told her about the group I attend. She said she should go, how shes been in denial for so long. We ended up sitting talking for 20 min. I gave her my phone number and the outreach number for the group I attend. She said “Ive made some stupid choices, I cant believe Ive been such an idiot” I said “Its ok, you are learning, now you no you can make better choices and make changes” We ended up doing cardio side by side. Sharing, talking, learning about eachother. Then we went and did arms and biceps together. It was really cool to have someone to work out with, and we had so much in common.

So I will wait to see if she makes any contact. She is fortunate to not have children in her situation, which is a blessing. It was just a special moment, despite her heartache, to see her, to talk to her, to hug her, to offer her hope that things can get better from someone who has been there and to tell her she isnt alone. That I wont judge her, and Im there if she needs.

We talked in group yesterday about doing positive things, putting out good, and Im so glad this came about. I hope she comes to group. I will pray for her.