Hollywood Girl

Dear Diary,

Im exhausted. I think moreso mentally.

I had a great time with Music Dude. We went to the Los Angeles Art Museum. My first time there. Music dude is so cool looking. Totally casual, sorta grunge lookingish style. He is really COOL in the total sense of the word. The walk, the talk, the style, the clothes, the cigarettes, his voice.

We both seem to enjoy the differences in who we both are. Our worlds.

I feel like some Pamela Lee meets Tommy thing. Girl meets rock star(except minus the fake boobs)

The interesting was cool, I actually think I may just go back by myself some time. I really enjoyed it. It was a different experiences. Just walking around together, in some exhibits in silence, both looking at things, some him making comments that I would have never been able to come up with and just enjoying listening to his appreciation and perspective. We spent a lot of time together, hes very mellow. But hes very raw, open, honest. Very truthful in where he is been, where he is now, the rough roads, but the recoveries, the blessings, the optimism and hope. Talking about his daughter. Talking about his age, his past. He also gave me a copy of his CD last night 🙂 and he showed me a movie on Cable that he performed a cut on and showed his name in the credits at the end. I was like Wow cool. 🙂 Sitting in the small back patio of his musician artists pad.

The bright red haired with orange stripes woman in her 40s who came out in her pajamas and felt embarrassed he had company and shook my hand. The twinkly lights strung around the patio where he goes to sit and just chill out, in the house tucked right behind a liquor store, with the windows of other places open next door and the noisy Armenian family he spoke about. The small from the bakery next door of bread.

LA is not all pretty, but I was seeing the beauty in the midst of the city. Each time we walked by the liqour store the bums asking for money or saying Hello. Music dude told me about the neighborhood bum who he said in some weird way makes him feel safe and watched over. Then the bum who walked up to us and said “Can you spare change so I can buy a beer?” I was taken aback, wow an honest beggar? I wasnt used to that. Hes all “Well at least hes honest” I agreed but just told him how I wasnt used to that. I got stopped in the liqour store by an older black gentleman who commented on my curls and how he hasnt seen curls like that in some time, he said Hello to me and I answered and he said my voice didnt sound like a Cali girl. I told him I was, by the time I was leaving he said he wanted to get a blood test with me? haha. I just said goodbye and he said Goodbye Sweetheart.

Its a different world. Its fascinating. He came out and we ate in my neck of the woods, he commented on my area. On the people, How I seemed like Maryann living with the Munsters, how I stand out. Asking why I dont find a local boy in my town? I commented on how I seem to like people with an edge. Not the boring(well boring in my eyes) 9-5 guy who works and comes home to the couch to watch TV, and watches sports, on weekends maybe goes and sits by a lake and BBQ’s. I have way too much energy. I feel very youthful. Trendy in some ways in my tastes.

We had a blast.

I blew B off. I was angry and hurt at him. So I didnt go and stay the nite. But did go by today and told him how i was feeling, he was open and receptive to it and listened to me and agreed. Now what? I dont know. He is going to come up for my Bday he said. 🙂

Ex pissed the hell out of me. Ill write that later, he messed with dropping the kids off and pulled my mom and his aunt into it all and just messed with everyones heads. I hate this. 🙁 More later