The Huxtables

Dear Diary,

Morning.

Im having a morning where I just feel like doodoo starting my day out. Not that anything particular is going on, I just feel sorta bleh. Like grumpy.

I think its just the adjustment from my weekends and not loving work and all that as of late.

I enjoy my weekends, B was here, and then he goes off to his city far far awaayyyyyyyyyy(lol okay so it isnt THAT Far) and we are back in our corners of the world.

Something as silly as pulling into the kids school this AM, they were working on the parking lot so the whole drop off way to pull in was turned around, and slow, and I was sitting behind two cars and went around them as I let my kids out already and they hadnt and then the van deciding to go all the sudden so I stop then the principal yelling WATCH IT! Thinking I was backing up or something?( I have a stick, you know how you roll a little bit when you just stop?) you roll back a tiny bit. So that shook me up being yelled at, granted shes just doing her job, just freaked me out.

Then to get into work and there is this major long email complaint. It has nothing to do with me or anything like that, its more on the bosses end, but just seeing the extent some customers go to complain. Instead of just coming with a complaint(hey this item is defective or messed up or broken) They go on long tirades about how “So and So got one better then mine” and “I always trusted you for business, and this left a bad taste in my mouth” and on and on and on. We have a money back guarantee on everything, and we offer it and will to the customer, but dont ya love when people personally attack and act like there is some personal issues against them and thats why their product is defective?

Hmmm LOL, sounds like me sometimes, when I assume or go all nuts in my head instead of handling a problem head on and just asking. 🙂

Just a nice reminder of “DONT DO THAT!”

I am constantly in “How can I be financially independent, my own boss” looking mode.

Ive been on this idea lately. I first had talked to B about it, then it was funny I talked to my Mom about it and come to find out it was something my parents were looking to do actually pretty recently, but invested in land to sell instead. Only because the other idea involved working with “PEOPLE” and my mom said my Dad does not do well with that, haha

Soo, a self storage, storage unit facility.

Granted its not like super excitement job. But B and I were discussing how little youd have to pay on a lot of things, utilities, upkeep, employee payroll, etc. Those places make money, and my mom said yes they can be lucrative.

So just something that got me thinking.

So my weekend? Well, first off, I went and had a facial done on Thursday. Well the next day, I could feel my face, my chin, and the lines or the area like next to your nose down to your mouth(sorta where your cheeks are or where a person might have dimples) LOL this is hard to describe, anyways, that area is SUPER dry and flaking, and it hasnt stopped, Today is Monday and I still have this really dryness, my face almost feels raw, I know they did an Alpha Hydroxy mask or what have you, but whatever was used, really did a number, so Im not too happy about that. Anyone ever had anything like that happen from a facial?

So I went and got my hair done friday, my hairdresser, wow, how long have I been seeing her now? Not sure, but she knows me now and has been going through so many changes in her own personal life and we have talked about all my stuff I went through. She had me cracking up and I was practically pushing her away to leave.

Shes a really beautiful woman, shes in her 40s, but she can pass for younger, shes a short petite redhead, and shes just so pretty, shes got a killer figure and everything looks good on her. Shes been in a crappy marriage for sometime, 3 children, and Ive know about the marriage, the control issues, etc. Well since the last time I was in she has started to make some major changes. So she was sharing all of it with me.

To complicate matters, her husband is about 15 yrs old and terminally ill.

She said she wont divorce him, she will stay with him and take care of him, but the love feelings of a wife, are gone, she stopped sleeping with him 2 mos ago she said, she couldnt fake it anymore.

So it sounds really sad and all but then to see her now, smiling. And having goals, and things, she works 2 days a week, she raises 3 kids who are all quite young. One is special needs. She is going to college for Nursing, she has taken up the gym and looks damn good. Shes just amazing. So shes going on a cruise soon with a girlfriend, and was all whispering in my ear how she bought a Victorias Secret bikini and shes never worn stuff like this. haha

So I left there with my new hair, colored, highlighted and straightened.

Got home and cleaned up some, talked to B on the phone, he was coming out, so he arrived around 9pm. I had the salmon and some brocolli ready when he arrived, and we had a glass of wine. Then we headed to Outback and went for dessert, mmmmmmmmmm.

Came home and just crawled into bed, we were both beat and just passed out.

Well friday evening my big sister called. Her husband came by on Friday unexpected with a Uhaul when he said he wasnt coming and the girlfriend came with him.

I guess the night before he came and took all the coffee tables that were the main things my sister wanted. So she wasnt happy. So it just put her ill at ease he was walking in and taking stuff while she was at work without them discussing any of this.

Sooo, he showed up, my sister got upset and went out and told the girlfriend she was a whore and to get away from the house, and a few words or two, And the girlfriend said to my sister “Well at least I take care of him” Sis said “Yeah, well get used to it”

So he packed up the kids rooms and then got all pissed off at my sister, yelled “Fuck It” and didnt want to pack anything else. So my sister was having a yard sale on Saturday with whatever is left, as she has one more week in the house and decided against a big storage unit and is just going to sell pretty much everything off except her bed, dresser, antique desk and buffet, and she already got the fridge, washer and dryer out.

So she told me she was going to sell her dining room table at the yard sale. Im all “How much?” Shes all “You want it?” Im all “YES”

Ive always liked their dining room table. So she got the measurements and it turned out it was almost the same size as what I had just a tiny bit bigger. BUT OOOOOOOOOH MUCH nicer. My kitchen table is a thrift shop $20 purchase. Dont get me wrong, its beat up and needs a table cloth as the surface is bad, but could be redone. It has the sides the lift and you can put down, and it has a name brand emblem on it, not sure how old it is, but its not a cheap piece. Its just very worn, the chairs arent in the greatest shape either, a little wobbly and I had 2 other mismatched chairs to fill in for guests and things.

So problem was. How to get it?

So sis called my parents, and well we arranged to go down Sat in my moms truck, so Mom, B and I went to sisters sat.

And guess who is there helping my sister with her yard sale? Her first husband, we havent seen him in over 10 yrs. And my sister said she just couldnt deal with a yard sale, so he came over and put all her stuff out, told her to go lay down and hed handle it.

Well hes also handling the loan on the house sale, its sooo weird, I cant even describe. My sister and people in her life and all.

So she was ready to wrap up the sale and we all helped her bring everything in the garage.

Then we all went to eat at Dennys, well minus her first ex.

After that we came back and loaded up the table and I took an antique end table also, a pair of rollerblades, and B took some computer parts. She just told us to take whatever we wanted.

She just told me $50 was fine for the table, which was a great deal! I love the table! Its a nice light wood, Pine? I believe, its sturdy and the chairs are nice and padded with fabric. Ahhhh its the one piece of furniture in my house that I really needed an upgrade on.

So needless to say that left an hour drive one way there, and an hour back, with B, Mom and I crammed in the 3 seats of her pick up truck and talking. I get a little nervous, gets its that whole parent thing, and wanting them to like your partner and I just have to cool out and relax.

Something about B, and my Mom. I noticed it, and then my mom made a remark to me sunday about talking to B. She said “He likes to use a lot of big words, theories, physco,,, well Id call Drivle. Its all good and all but a little common sense goes a long way”

So I guess in a way I was listening to her and seeing she wasnt getting it. I said “Mom, B has always had an expanded vocabulary and used big words, hes always had a High IQ, as a kid he used to just sit and read Encyclopedias from cover to cover.”

I just have learned now that I have to stop him and say sometimes “What does that mean?” as he just has told me that hes always been that way and always assumed others were the same, but they arent”

But I guess what threw me off, was, my mom was going on about my sisters husband, how he had us all fooled, and we didnt know the man, and how crazy what hes doing is, etc etc etc. And then he leaves for a woman with all these kids.

And B said “Its not that out there, hes not really different from the rest of us, we all live, many of us live to meet our basic desires, wanting to be happy, whatever form that maybe, what may seemed screwed up to us, could be perfect for her ex husband his girlfriend” and he talked about shared neurosis stuff.

My mom replied “Well I guess you think we are boring then”

Thats what struck me odd, that my mom said that? My mom was saying she cant live that way like sisters ex husband and bottle up stuff, etc etc.

We all have issues, we all have weird things and quirks.

B will not soften words, hes very blunt and direct and not afraid to have his own opinion. And thats where I sat there a little nervous, but I dont think how B is, is such an awful things, its the very thing my middle sister and I discuss in great detail. You didnt question things in our home, you didnt have a differing opionion or you were punished or glared at. You did what was expected, so we all fit our little role that our parents want out of us, but its not truly what we are or all of what we are made of, we just keep parts separate from our parents, and now and then, as of recent, we have started to speak up for ourselves but its still scary.

Sooo, we got home that afternoon and pretty much hung out at the house and relaxed. We got some snacks and went and rented “The Stepford Wives” so B could see the original before we go see the new version. He enjoyed it.

Well Sat eve my cell phone rings, its Ex’s phone, I dont always answer when my kids are away, I let them leave a voicemail and I see whats up. But this time I answered. And all I hear is my child screaming hysterically and crying, but then I hear my ex telling him to stoppit and knock it off. And its like nobody is on the phone itself, its like my number was just dialed and they didnt know I was on the line. So I was almost shaking, it scared the hell out of me! All Im thinking is something terrible is happening to my child and hes trying to call me and his Dad is doing something.

I was literally just frozen listening to my ex and child, I couldnt make out what was going on or hardly understand either of them, Finally my ex gets on the phone, I said “What is going on?” He said “Im so sick of youngest childs games! Im not putting up with it! Hes saying I wont leave him alone so hes going to call you. Vicky, I know when we were married I played to rough, I didnt know when to stop, I know that was a problem and I dont do that anymore”

:::Cough Cough::: BULLSHIT( sorry didnt say that but thats my thoughts to what hes saying )

So he tells me when he went to visit his Uncle the last weekend he got on my ex about spending more time playing with his kids, sports, activities, so my Ex said he was trying to do that.

And that my youngest keeps getting upset and saying “Im going to call Mom!” and uses it as a threat against his Dad so his Dad has been giving him his way. And he got tired of it and said “No Ill call your Mom for you”

So I then asked to speak to youngest, he didnt want to come to the phone. He kept yelling at him to do come talk. So he gets on and Im all “Huney whats going on?” he says “Dad wont leave me alone” and then you can hear my ex talking in the background (I swear hes a kid too!)

So all in all come the end here is what I believe is occurring, and I can only go off what I know and what I was told, and what I know of my ex and my son.

My Ex has always enjoyed playing things, taking them to far, frustrating people for his own enjoyment, pushing people to the limit of anger or upset. But he labels it as “FUN”

He claims he “Does not” do this anymore, but i think thats bullshit to be honest.

On the other hand, take my 7 yr old who is very much a cookie cutter of his Dad. A lot of personality traits and behaviors are very a like.

My little one is the same way, hes bossy, manipulative, gets upset when he doesnt get his own way, wants to win things, annoys his brother constantly and wont leave him alone or back off when his brother asks.

Hmmm sound alike?

Then throw these 2 personalities together? How can a father teach his son to act different and apply rules to him when he acts that very way himself but doesnt see that or is in denial?

Then take my youngest, he likes to play things, but he will cry, whine, when hes losing, fake injury or that he doesnt want to play, to get out, and then as soon as hes out he will yell SIKE! Or what have you and try to rejoin a game. Ive watched him do this at home with B and we have discussed this.

B tells him “No, you dont want to play, you said so” and he needs to be held to that, he cant use excuses and lies as an out to get out of a tough spot or losing and then rejoin play, and hes been doing this crap with his Dad, except his Dad is falling for it, and was afraid of my 7 yr olds threat to call MOM.

So I told Ex “If you are not doing anything inappropriate then theres nothing to worry about, let him call” and he said he was scared. Which yes I understand also with his past behavior, and his current.

So I asked little one “Are you okay? Are you having a good time?” and he said yes to both. So I told him he has to learn to walk away and say NO when Dad is bugging him and remove himself from the situation, I reminded him of how he does this to his brother, and how crappy it feels with his Dad doing it to him.

So its like I basically felt like the parent who goes on vacation and the kids are all fighting while you are away and you have to referee via telephone, except it was my 33 yr old Ex husband VS. my 7 yr old son. :::Shakes head:::

I was telling my Mom about it all and she was saying “Be glad he did call” and yes I am, I need to know all this stuff, its important and it can help with my little one in counseling.

Soo Sunday! We were going to go to an event at the local theatre at 2pm, we get ready and drive over and I see the place looks empty and realize I bought tickets for next weekend! OOPS!

So B is all “Sooo what do you want to do?” Im all “I dunno” He suggests going to a movie, I was kinda bleh, didnt really want to do a movie. So I said “I have an idea, dont know if you will like it”

Hes all “Tell me!” So I said, “Lets go look at model homes” Hes all “Yes lets do it!”

And we set off. It was sooo much fun!

We went to 3 different ones, the houses were so pretty, I loved all the decor in them, and dang they were big!

We just got to talk about what we like, homes, decor, lay outs.

It was really fun to be honest.

We got to the second track and they want you to fill out a card with your name and address and all before going through the models, I filled out the first one, so B did the second, as we walked out of the office B said “I Wonder if the guy will notice” I said “Notice what?”Hes all “That my card is BS” Im all why? He said “I put down my name is Cliff Huxtable” on the card.

I was all “OMGOSH you did not!” Hes all “Yes I did!” And said he almost put down 1313 Mocking Bird Lane for the address. So I get all embarrassed cause we have to walk back through the office at the end. LOL I dont have the guts to do such things, thats the difference between he and I.

So we were joking, calling eachother Claire and Cliff Huxtable.

Okay, I gotta take a break for now, whewww I wrote a mouthful so far and still could say more!