We are all Crazy

Dear Diary,

Well my ex responded to me online last night. Heres the convo as I wrote him in regards to the boys sleeping with his girlfriends daughter in her room. As my kids told me, my oldest slept on the girls bed, my youngest and the 10 yr old girl slept on the floor.

Ex: ok now the sleeping thing
Me: yeah
Ex: the boys have been sleeping in the leaving room their has been a few times where the boys slept in the girls room WITH the door OPEN
Me: Well they need there own space and not to sleep with girls
Ex: but that was with the 10yr old only
Me: I dont care if its the living room or bedroom but they shouldnt be with any of the girls
Ex: they are not sleeping in the same bed
Me: doesnt matter, they need there own space
Ex: we both know that
Me: dont need to leave room for trouble and u know what i mean even with a door open
Ex: trust me i know
Me: just keep them separated is what Im saying, not in the same room or on her floor with her in her bed but in a different space wether they are in the living room together or they are in her room and shes in the front room, get what I mean?
Ex: so if they fall asleep watching a movie in the living room???
Me: so what are u asking? That you cant move one?
Ex: yeah i can do that

Ex: I am not saying this to be a dick; My Girlfriend and i have talked about this if you need to say somthing to her of want to warn her….. I’ll give you her cell number just dont say anything around the kids
Me: I didnt say anything to the kids
Ex: no but you did in front of them
we both said that we wouldnt do that
Me: they are going to know u dont help, they already know somewhat, cmon. I have to tell them no all the time that they cant do things or buy stuff and they say you have money and Dad can etc etc
Ex: well they are going to find out what you did too, but i not going to say stuff in front of them
Me: Im asking you to take responsibility for your kids, you arent
Ex: well they are liing to you, i dont have money
Me: Well they dont know that, they dont get it, why arent you h elping and paying support? Why arent u getting yourself a place and a bedroom for them after all this time? why did u go to the DA and say I can pay that! all happily and Ive not got a dime since
Ex: cause i am sick
Me: Do you understand?
Ex: no you dont understand but you will in a few years
Me: Why are my family helping where you should be? why a few years?
Ex: lol, youll look back and understand
Me: just spit it out, dont make me guess stuff
Ex: and i am not treathing you, this has to do with me
Me: treathing?
Ex: just drop it, its cool
Me: Im asking you why you arent taking care of your kids and your responsibilities? and why are you allowing others? my sisters both came out to do all their school shopping cause they know I need help
Ex: i dont want it this way, i got to go
Me: whats up?

He logged off and that was that. I got emotional talking to him. I had tears in my eyes.

I just wanted to know what the deal was and he just didnt say anything, just eluded to things or what have you. So of course the comments of “Im sick, look back and your understand, youll know in a few years” etc

Im all “What is he referring to exactly?”

Is he saying hes physically sick? Or Mentally?

Who knows, I ended up talking to my mom and she warned me and told me how he already got to me, turned it around to where Im feeling bad for him.

I was telling my mom how I hate all this, I dont want to be angry with him, I want us to talk normal. But at the same time I have so much anger for what hes done and continues to do. My mom told me to remember he may never change.

Sighhhh

Anyways, I just was telling mom its hard to forgive and be nice because I feel as if I am condoning his behavior, and I dont want to send the wrong message.

I just wanted to meet with him, thought of us sitting and talking, hugging him.

No I dont want him back, but its just, I dont like things this way,but I have to remember this is who hes always been, I was just there behind him to keep him straight.

So I called the Child Support dept this AM, waiting on hold for like an hour.

So they ran his social, pulled up another employer as of June and said they will submit another wage assignment.

Not sure if its a job hes still at or not. We shall see.

See I just thought they automatically updated stuff! NOPE! I went to a message board and they told me to call the Child Support services often, thats how you get your case moving. So she didnt know about the job thing till now when I just called!

I told her the dates he works at the camp this month.

But the other thing that threw me off was she told me “After 60 days no payment his license is automatically suspended” Im all Now? Is it? Are you sure? Hes been driving and getting the kids and going places?” Shes all “Yes its suspended and there is no record of payment.

Interesting, so he now has the automatic tax intercept, bank acct funds, you name it, liens on any property, yada yada.

Oh and dont u love the part where he said I could call and talk to his girlfriend???? haha

I said what I needed to say and I said it to here and not the kids. I just gave her the basics. She obviously feels for him or has a soft spot or hes lied to her. And so there ya have it, I gave her the basic info, she can do what she wants with it.

So ex will not have the kids this weekend, which Im glad. He will have them the following then resume the beginning of Sept.

The kids informed me that nobody else moved out of the house ex had to move out of, all the other roomates were still there which puzzled the kids. See my ex told the kids they all had to move cause the man was selling his home. I think my ex just got ousted, and as usual lied about why, which is typical. He probably wasnt paying the rent or what have you.

Oh and I read a good chapter last night in the Dr. Phil book. On being “Crazy” or “Nor Normal” as people put it and how so many relationships end over such things, as long as the things arent abusive and harmful to the person, we all have traits like this and we can work with them. But it is true, none of us are normal really….. he gave some cool examples and an extreme one. But he talked about his grandparents or someone. How they were old, didnt talk more then 25 words a week to one another, didnt sleep in the same room. Yet they ate all scruched up next to one another, when they werent together they constantly talked to people about the other spouse, he was like 6’1 and she was 4′ something. And just went on about how they werent the idea text book happy couple case you talk about in therapy. But they worked, and they were married a long time.

Was just interesting, cause really, we are all crazy in our way….