Holiday & Family

Dear Diary,

Morning

Ahhhhhhhhhhhh Im up all alone and its quiet and its about 9:40am. Kids left yesterday at 1pm to go with their Dad for the week.

They have been a handful, my little one threw a major tantrum, lying episode on CHristmas eve. I was so angry with him, he totally tried to get his older brother in trouble also and I didnt know who to believe until I threatened to take presents from under the tree away if nobody confessed, etc etc.

Well without giving all the details, he was screaming in his room under his bed mad and yelling, I took a gift of his away, had him apologize for putting all of us through what he did and ended up calling his Dad who I dropped him off with for Christmas eve while B and oldest and I went to see my side of the family. I felt bad on the drive not taking him with, but he had been behaved so horribly and needed to realize this isnt how you behave at Christmas and expect to get things.

I need to do something, alone they arent so hard to handle, but together? ACK, my youngest constantly picks at, follows, annoys, bosses around, comes in his room, etc of the oldest, the oldest is constantly upset, saying he wishes he was an only child and is thrilled when youngest isnt around. Youngest feels the opposite and just loves to be around his brother. Theres so much more, but its like his father, he gets so excited, he likes attn, negative attn, doesnt matter, but in turn hes making the whole house upset cause he wont back off, hes mouthy, throwing a tantrum, etc. Time to get a family counseling appt to work with this stuff.

On the other hand, my youngest bought christmas gifts for us this year with his own money and he was so excited and proud of himself, I was too. He now has $39 in his savings account and hes so happy. And he bought us all presents and wrapped them and handed them out(this is my 8yr old)

Hes a good kid, hes just high energy, my big sister said thats how her ADD son was as a child. They said my son is not ADD just high energy, and he needs some sports or physical activities. Which i still havent been able to get in motion to see if it helps alleviate him some with an outlet.

The dr who observed him said right away he was not ADD and his schooling and homework reflected that also. He does well. He does have problems with staying focused, his mind works fast, so I also know theres some place that recommends changes to diet to help with such things. Now I just gotta find that info.

So we went down to my sisters tiny 2 bedroom house, 20 of us!

All of my family was there minus my youngest, everyone and their kids, plus my middle sisters in laws and sis in law AND, if you can follow, the Grandmother of the girls she was stepmom to but doesnt get to see.

My sister drove an hour round trip and picked her up, shes alone and a recluse with health problems but my sister visits her once a month to help clean her home, and she invited her for CHristmas not thinking shed come, well she got all dressed up and said she was excited ALL DAY about this, she was a sweet lady and had a great time.

They had 3 tables set up across the dining and living room area so we could all fit, my mom came up early and did most of the cooking, my big sister ran around doing errands, picking up tables and chairs, grocery store and the Grandma. Middle sis helped out, and with our family people usually are designated to bring certain things.

It was nice, we all sat down and my sister wanted to say the blessing, she warned everyone she would probably cry, and she just thanked everyone for their help this past year as it was a rough one(Her finding out her husband had an affair, husband moving in with the woman, taking his daughter my sister was a Mom to for 7 yrs away from her and the half sister they just became legal guardians of a year and a half prior) My sister having to move out of her house and homeless for many months sleeping at peoples houses and a trailer park. So everyone was wiping their eyes when she was done.

It was a good time, everyone opened presents, the way it works is we only get gifts for the kids and this year we all drew a name for an adult to get one adult gift.

Well my brothers girlfriend got my name. She got me a Guess purse and wallet! LIKE DAMN NICE! Ive never owned a nice purse or name brand or anything! I love it.

My kids got gift certificates, some toys and clothes.

So we headed out around 9:30pm, we still had to get back home and pick up youngest from his Dads house. We got there at 11:30! He was still up, we headed out and all, he was in a mellow nice mood. he said from the backseat “Mom, Im sorry about earlier” I said “Hun, I love you, I just need you to know you cant behave that way” and all was well.

Christmas AM we got up and kids opened their gifts, my oldest was happy with the Harry Potter books and backpack from B and played with his toys, youngest was playing with everything.

Finally we got them to go to meet with their Dad, after that B and I headed out to see Bs family in El Segundo.

We made darn good time(Can do the trip in an hour when there is no traffic) but this isnt the norm as where we head is around LAX airport and when there is traffic and busy time its totally different.

So I didnt worry about gifts for his side, he had a box of Sees candy for his Grandma, he said his sister said they mutally agreed not to get eachother anything, and he didnt get his moms gift yet but would just talk to her about it.

Well,

Here I get presents from his Mom, and his Aunt and Uncle who werent even there, plus things were left for the kids!

Then we go to Grandmas house and gifts from Grandma too! THEN his sister gives us all gifts, Needless to say B was a bit ticked as he just spoke to her about this and he asked her about what she was giving grandma and she said just something little and instead she gave her bag full of presents.

Im learning the dynamics of the family gradually! LOL.

It was an interesting visit, they all griped about grandma before we arrived.

They kept wanting to warn me about her (ive met her several times before, shes just a typical grandma to me, heck shes 87!)

But all their lives she has constantly criticized B and his sister for their choices in life, compares them to other people, etc.

So they always feel they are not good enough for her and feel a sense of pressure, and his sister I guess is getting a lot of pressure from Grandma to marry her boyfriend(they are living together)

Ha, so are B and I! LOL But B doesnt talk to her as much(for these reasons) and he is the rebel of the family who does things that they get upset about(They all harrass him about his piercings and tattoos) But its mellowed with time, but its still there.

So we just sat around, they told stories, alot of childhood ones. Then we sat to eat. They all warned me that grandma will want to pray and she will probably cry. I said no biggie, we did at my families. They said “NO, we are talking Grandma when she has wine will cry during the prayer” Well the prayer was something she found in the newspaper that was long and she wanted to read, she made us all hold hands, which is fine, its just kinda funny when you see this family as on their own without grandma none of this would happen. And B almost started to laugh, which in turn I almost started to laugh! During a prayer! EEEEEEEEEK!

I didnt thank god, deep breaths! And she did choke up at the end.

She made these 3 scary salads on the table, I was so scared, praying to God she wouldnt push me to have any(I had ham, lasagna and bread)

His sister took some of this Pea salad and when Grandma got up she said it was so gross she asked her mom to take it! LOL Mom said to put it back in the dish LOL so she did!

I would have gagged if I tried to eat any of them, they were scary looking. Whew escaped that one!

Well after dinner as we sat, things got a little ackward, tense? B and his sister, his sister said when she was in Jr High B kicked her in the back while she was bent at her locker and she fell into it and shes had back problems ever since, B said “What? I never did that?” and she went on, he went on, the two of them went back and forth and it got awkward.

His sister also kept saying all day “What did you give Vicky to open Christmas morning?” and told him women like to have something to open, that he could have gotten me a trinket, that women liek jewelry and did this the entire visit(she asked me what I got and I said we were getting gifts after, I was getting a spa package) But I did tell B lets get eachother something small under $40 for christmas AM to open, he didnt, and I got him something. But I wasnt all upset over it, she just repeated it all day to him, B talked about how she instigates and tries to start crap. WHich yes is true.

So after being there for the day, I learned some things. B and his mother are very much alike, personality, humor wise. They both like violent movies and laugh watching them! Its just weird as time goes on as you learn to see traits, and see them for what they are.

And I observed that his sister is much like their Grandmother, critical.

But I also noticed his sister is very competitive with B, trying to look better and make herself better and point out flaws over and over. B said she has always been that way and he thinks shes resentful in some form that he does his own thing and doesnt care what Gma thinks and she wishes she could be that way. She asked me in front of everyone “So Vicky, how is it having B there 24/7? Bet you wish he wasnt huh?” B said “LOL she probably would like to send me back” I said “I like it” and shes all “Ahhhh you are such a saint!”

After we left B said “So did my family scare you too much?” I said “Naw, it just makes me love you even more” as so many pieces of his life come together. It a weird sense I saw a lot of similarities between him as a child and my youngest, B has told me he relates to my little one a lot, and its what triggered him to call his mom last christmas as he saw stuff my youngest did with me, and he called his mom and apologized for how he was as a kid to her.

Shes all “Well I wasnt the greatest mom either” But it was their breakthrough bonding moment.

Just hearing cute things about B as a little guy or sad things about them teasing him and making him cry.

But the present thing I think ticked B off most. He confronted his sister about doing that as they spoke and agreed not too, shes all “Well mom wasnt giving you guys much soooo”

I told B from now on not to consult her and do his own thing.

His sister has gotten VERY Big since I last saw her, we both commented after we left its was like WOW. His family is overweight, very much so, his mom and sister. Grandma is average but shes older now and is smaller with her age and all.

But I guess she was larger also.

His sisters boyfriend wasnt there, she said he flew to Co to be with his family and she was flying out the 27th to meet up with him.

She said during present unwrapping that she wasnt “GETTING ANY” I was all ???? LOL that she was telling everyone, and I was all OMGOSH! Shes getting no sex too! Whats going on!

But then it turns out shes refusing to have sex with her boyfriend as she wants to see an engagement ring is what she said.

So not sure their deal if they were having sex before but she stopped now and says she wont until they are married(and she aint religious okay?)

So my kids got cash from Bs family! some presents, they both will have more money then ever this year! So between the Walmart and Target gift cards and the cash gifts Im going to encourage them both to put the cash in the bank, youngest Im sure will, but oldest doesnt have an acct yet and I think Im gonna just make him do it, he needs to learn about saving also.

It was just very sweet his whole family left my kids presents, and me too 🙂 Next year I will make sure to help B out with the gifts and all.

This was really my first time spending christmas with his side as we were broken up last christmas, and prior to that he didnt visit them for the holidays.

Well Im gonna shop today! So later!