Friends vs Being a Homebody

Dear Diary,
I find myself wanting to be alone more these days, its a weird mix, what I feel that is. I dont have an urgent need to go “Hang out” with friends, Id really just rather hang out with my husband.

Its different being married to someone you really Like ya know?

I went to see my sis the other day and she wanted me to stay and sleep over.

I just wanted to get home. I like sleeping in my home. I like the sense of security I feel in my space. Granted Id like to MOVE from my area and neighborhood of course, but Id still like to be inside MY SPACE. Or I dont mind going away and getting a place with hubby.

My friend is away with some dude in Ventura. 3 marriages, in the middle of a divorce and now in some city with some guy whos about 16 yrs younger then her.

We speak and she just goes on and on and I just cant imagine that, not being able to settle down and your near 50 and still have children in elementary school. Shes beautiful and smart and talented, but her personal relationships are always all over the place.

She invited us over for New Years which I was glad, then next thing you know soon to be divorced hubby is coming over, what???

Its all just too weird.

So I told her she should call someone if shes meeting men from the net, she said this guy seems a little shady, so she called me to let me know she was going, I texted her last nite, never heard back. Ill call her today again, but my guess is shes with him and got a hotel again or something.

So Im on these internet sites and see all my old friends and most of them I just dont have much umpf in me to even talk to them one on one? Whats that about, like its too much effort and time to invest and I dont want to go there, I have stuff to do of my own. But you have to make time for friends and cultivate friendships? I just dont feel at this point a desire, Im cherishing my alone time. Is that weird?

My phone rings often times and I look and go “I cant deal with that right now” and I just dont answer.