Things are Better

Dear Diary,

Eeeks feeling so scatter brained at the moment. For some reason I thought I wrote in here last night but I didnt.

Work has been hectic but now I have second to jot some things down.

Yep, its always a nice start to my day to unload here and then have my mind freed up.

Thanks to my friends for the comments. I write her, and I know that I go nuts in my head at times, and I feel its safer to put it down here then on a person when Im still sorting things out, I put things down as they hit me, and it doesnt mean that Im always right or that the way I view something was totally accurate, but instead of reacting to it with a person, its good and safe to do this. 🙂

Anyways, B ended up calling me not long after I wrote yesterday, said Hello, said he was going to his place with his friend and then theyd drive to my house, then hed drive back to the guys house (about an hour drive one way)then to get his Jeep then drive back. I asked him “Why are you riding with him? Why not just follow him in the Jeep so you dont have to go back and forth?” He paused, and all sternly said “Because thats the way it was planned” Im sitting there thinking “What kind of answer is that?” I said “But why? It doesnt make sense to me?” He seemed more agigated, he said “Well the plan was to do all this stuff then go to dinner, but we went to lunch instead” Im all “Yeah? So then why do you need to drive back there?” Hes all “Cause thats the way it is” and said he was gonna go, i said Bye, he was annoyed, I was annoyed, he wasnt making sense. OH! And I had said because he sat there totally silent for a few minutes “Are you okay, can you not tell me or something?”

So now I was more upset, what the frick is this?

Well about 5 min later the phone rings. Its B, he said “Let me try this again, did I tell you what the plan was for today?” I said “No?” He said “I was getting upset at you and wondering why it mattered, and then I realized we were probably not on the same page and why would you be asking me those questions, did you know I was going to drive the Bug up and follow him first, then go get the Jeep?” Im all “NOOOOOOOOOOO? lol now it makes total sense” Hes all “Oh I thought I told you, but then realized something wasnt right” He said “Babe, how has your weekend been? Im sorry I havent been home, Ill be there the next few days and we can get some stuff put away and figured out, how are the kids?” and he was just so damn sweet. 🙂 YAY!

You know, seriously, this is the problem between us. And either Im totally not hearing things, or hes not saying things or what have you, but there is communication issues between us, and these seem to be our problem. I mean if he would have told me when I questioned him “Because I have to bring the bug first?” or some answer it would have stopped all that, but he just got so stern and said “Because thats the way its planned”

Anyways, so he got there with the guy D, they unloaded his Desk, lamp, tv table and some various other things.

Then they moved the old HUGE antique desk out of my office that was in the corner, and then moved Bs in there.

B was sweet, he came and hugged me when he got in, he hugged me and said “I want a kiss” in front of his buddy. Hes just been really sweet and seems happy and really trying to do all this right you know?

He then had to head out to get his Jeep, in the meantime my big sister came over for a bit, was playing games on the computer, it was during dinner time, kids settle down, bath, B is coming back, so it was hectic(Adored I cant even imagine your place! LOL I was going wacko with just 2 hours of this)

My house is a little out of whack also as I had to move so much out of the office and off that desk unit to get Bs in there, so I have stuff in my room, laundry room, hallway, YOU NAME IT, just sitting there right now and will have to find new places for it all.

I have a pile of clothes on my couch right now, I want to get a storage tub for my winter clothes, since I am making room for B and pulling the winter stuff out so I can alternate, I unfortunately do NOT have a large closet, its the smallest one in the house, its worked for just me, but now theres two of us.

You know, I have way too much crap! Man it was crazy seeing how much I stacked on and around that desk, then I had a shelf sitting on top full of stuff, then stuff on top of that stacked to the cieling. EEEEEEEEKS!

My garage is practically full again also, haha, as B and I just cleared it practically a week ago to fit my vehicle, WHOOPS! Nevermind that!

So B got back, he was beat, tired, he said the party they worked the night before was so hot and humid, both guys said they sweat for 6 hours straight, drank loads of water, but they both woke up in the AM with dry mouth and dehydrated. They also went lifting at the gym, B said it felt good. 🙂

And B took the guy to Sushi and all and paid him for his help. B made $200 for the party he worked, so he said he still had $100 and he said to me “Babe now I have $100 for you to spend on groceries”

And he left it for me this AM. WOW, I mean its just weird, this type of thing, having financial help now. 🙂

I dont get paid till Friday and had told him I didnt have any money until payday really, other then the usual amounts i need to get gas to drive or small food items here and there to spread through the week.

So I have no idea what to buy! We were supposed to talk it over last night but I forgot and he was tired, but he wont care either way.

My sister had to leave, she was heading down to house and teenager sit for my brother, hes going to NY for a week and his girlfriend was going with and I guess the teen was staying and he wanted my sister there, shes 16.

I was telling my sister how weird things are, Oldest Brother, Big sister, and myself all going through divorces and starting new lives. SHes all “Yeah, wow I know! Middle sister better hang on to hers!” lol

I am the least close to my brother. Its interesting that he has a live in girlfriend and her teen daughter, my brother was the one who started going to church when I was little, took me, went to Christain college against my fathers wishes. He wanted to be a Youth Minister, he married his wife at the same church, and well. Now they are divorced. Its about 15? or so years later now. He has two teenage boys. A new home or his own and now a girlfriend with a daughter. And hes shacking up too. Im not judging him, just observing the situations, and how we change the way we do things.

B took a bath, kids went to bed, and I went and sat in the bathroom and talked to him. Just chit chatting about the day and various things, he was funny, he said “Oh in 30 min Dr. 90210 is on” haha! I forgot, we have been watching that show together each week. So we crawled into bed and watched it, he fell asleep before it was over, poor sleepy guy. I laid in bed a bit and saw some of an episode of that “Gotti Family” reality show. haha, the mom had a date and I have no clue who the other lady is, sister? Friend? Etc, but she was telling her to date a younger guy, that its the new thing, and to look at Demi and Ashton Cucher. So they had this date, the guy shows up an hour and 30 min late, she was not happy and totally reamed the guy. She said “So why are you late?” he replied “Well I work you know?” and she told him that is not how you answer a woman, You come in and say “Im terribly sorry, I was running late, I apologize” the guy started to do that and shes all “No your too late now” she was annoyed through the date and said shed rather spend time with her teenage son then these guys. haha, they were good looking but she said there wasnt anything under the hood or something like that.

I got up and played Zuma on MSN games, my sister got me hooked, and I played a few games of Literati, a guy friend messaged me last night, hes a professional bicyclist but more in umm? Whats it called, but he does bike shows, tricks, etc. We used to fool around long ago on Yahoo camera and phone sex, Im so over all that now, but he says hello every so often, he asked me if I was married yet. lol Its like the guy doesnt talk much, other then “Yeah, Im good, life is good” I try to start convo, but hes so one word answer, so hes dull to talk to, sure hes cute, but I like to TALK too, he said he missed me. I think he just misses the horny talk and all, which I havent done with him in years. Who knows?

I told most of my online guy pals about B moving in, told Music Dude, my guy pal L. My girlfriend in town. Still have others to tell though.

B has an exam at work today, they wanted to see how much the new trainies are retaining since the last one and new title, if you dont pass this test you dont get a promotion or something, so he was all nervous about it, he got the highest score on the last one, but feels he has to do even better, that he has a high bar set for himself, so I wonder how it went, he had it at 9am today, so hopefully he will email soon.

So I got word that our new fairgrounds is a Nightmare today from my coworker. CRAP. See, I currently live like not even 5 min from the old spot, but they officially have torn it down, Ive been going there for the past 31 yrs of my life, so its weird its now GONE. So the new spot is way out in the middle of nowhere, the fair was supposed to be there last year but it wasnt ready. She said the parking lot is horrible, that there is only one entrance and the traffic was backed up so bad, you had to get your parking ticket first, then get in a long line and only one entrance to get in. CRAP. She said get there early if your attending anything that people were angry, it took her 40 min just to get parked and in the place. Oh and you have to wait for a trolley to drive you to the entrance or something? UGH. As I have concert tickets for Wed. And B cant get home that early, she told me I should get there before 5! I was thinking if we at least leave an hour before hand. So Im sweating that part as B is commuting back and I paid for these tickets and want to go!

So will wait to see what he says to my explanation, I could go early and have him meet me there, but what good what that do, hed had to drive to a place hes unfamiliar with alone and pay and yada yada yada, since its new we both will be newbies to this site, also sucks cause I could always park on side streets for free at the old fair, there isnt that option where it is now as its out in the middle of the desert.

And I expect traffic to suck as we are seeing Smash Mouth and Maroon 5. So Im sure a lot of people will be there.

Coworker said there was an article in the paper today and that the fair is a nightmare whoever set it up. Sighhhhhhh

I still dont even have a sitter, have to call Mom.

So B said last night “What are you doing for labor day?” and said his family is going to get together for a BBQ and would I like to go, kids an all are fine also” I said sure, wasnt sure if Id have the kids though. Ex is taking them friday, and not sure if he will keep them Monday too. So we shall see.

Just kinda cute, B going to family functions now, I shipped out the Elvis items he bought at Graceland for his Mom this last week as hed had them in his room ever since our trip to TN! She called him and was all happy.

Its so wild to watch so many changes. B moving in with me, b happy and talking future with me, spending time with the kids, talking to his family and some new amends made there, and now me going along to see them and all. I think B feels good you know? He always said such crap about family and hardly saw them, he had so much hurt and anger till that sit down talk with his Mom when we broke up at Christmas time.

So the guys are working on my bathroom today! YAY! I told B last night that once its done he can have that bathroom for all his toiletries n stuff. Since the medicine cabinet in there is practically empty, I always get ready in the other bathroom by my room so it will work out perfect and he can have all those cupboard for his things.

I sure hope this gets done soon. Now that the shower pan is here, I pray to God this gets going and done soon, Oh how i miss my shower!