Couple or Self Centered
Dear Diary,
I had to put this right here for me to remember
“you know exactly what you want. you want a guy who is not controlling and abusive. you want a guy who is couple and family oriented.”
Im just having a freak out moment, and talking to a girlfriend online, just best to let it out here, work with it, see how things go, my mind can go nuts with things and I so much project to a negative long term future. Yes its okay to have concerns, but I dont have enough to base them on being a problem just yet. But here it is…
I zero in on things hes said…
“I see my moving in as having more freedom, I think I will have more and get to do more and see my friends more since you cant say Im not with you very much”
“Im going to a concert for Halloween with my friends”
Its like hes not even fully moved in here yet, and I just hear all this stuff. He left yesterday around noon, and called me today about 10am from his friends house, Said they are going to the gym, then out to Sushi, then to his place to get the big stuff packed. Then they will drive up here and drop it off, then drive back to the guys place, then he will drive back here? I guess the part that loses me is I dont get why he doesnt just drive up here behind the guy with his truck of his stuff?? Seems like a waste of a drive, and it doesnt make sense to me why hed go another 45 min out of his way. Then my mind thinks hes gonna hang out there, not come back right away, and I cant predict that, its just assumptions.
Anyways, I was talking to a friend about this, how Im more couple oriented, I want to do things and share my life with a partner, granted yes there is time out with friends, but its like he is just telling me what hes doing, not anything like “Hey, Id like to go to this, is that cool?” and stuff like that. I mean, we are not married, he is not the father of my children, so it is not the same obligation, but at the same time that is the type of person I want, who takes me and the kids into consideration as if we are all his you know?
On the other foot, B has not seen his friends much at all or spent time with them, Me? I do all that. I see friends regularly, go by and visit, go to the gym, etc etc, but I have a different time schedule then he does, so I can get all that done before hes even home.
Im going to talk to B, about going to the Couples counseling intro session, think it would be good for us to go and get some assistance with our merging lives, and I can also bring all of us in, the kids, a group one, and we can all talk. The intro meeting is a weeknight, so B will h ave to get home early for us to do that, then we can get Saturday sessions, so that part is cool. But we might not get my counselor as she said the saturday counselors alternate. But still I think it would be good for all of us, and having a third outside party to help us along.
As my friend said, Ill know in about 6 mos or so if B is ready to be Couple centered, or Self Centered.