Off the Ride

Dear Diary,

Well I called and talked to my Mom.

My sister had called her before she called me and they talked for hours last night. I said “Did she tell you about meeting up with my ex?” My mom said “no? Not a word”

I told her what she told me. My mom was just as in shock.

She said “I even asked her what she did with her weekend and she didnt utter one word of this to me, I guess because Im Mom? And she knew I wouldnt be thrilled about hearing that?”

My mom agreed it was inappropriate and to cut my sister off if she brings up my ex again and tell her that this hurts me and It makes me uncomfortable and that I dont want to hear about him.

So much is just flooding through my head right now.

I was telling the computer guy whats happened.. and then I mentioned that my sister is with the Bro in Law of her husband now all the time too. He said “What? Is she just playing all sides of this?? Doesnt she have any friends?”

And my middle sister said to me the last time I called her “Victoria, I think big sister has a way of leaving out parts of the story, I didnt even know they were married until a few mos before they split up!”

And it all just floods over me.

Sister was married to a horrid abuser. Got out of that, met her 2nd husband, got tired of left tending to his child and threatened to leave him, he threatened suicide in the garage with a gun, my sister wrestled it away from him and called 911 and he was hospitalized and put on meds.

She called us all, we told her to get out of the relationship NOW.

My Nephew(her only son was diagnosed bipolar at this time at age 16)

So he was acting all bizarre, he called my parents up and told them my sister was going to marry him in Vegas(this was a few mos after the suicide episode) But there was never any announcement of a marriage.

I was visiting my sister towards the end of my marriage, dealing with all the abuse control crap from my ex and then she told me she was married to her husband not to tell anyone else.

She tried pushing me to date her bro in law as soon as ex and I split, calling us and hooking us up via calls, talking good about him to me about what a good guy he was…. then that fizzled.

But she always talked fondly about the bro in law. Then they announced they are starting their own business and my sis and the bro in law took a trip out of state the 2 of them, Mind you the bro in law was more of a parent to the husbands girls then the real father was.

And then it comes out her husband is having an affair(which yes is true) but I thought for sure my sis was having one with his brother. She says she is not attracted to him, yet hes there calling and taking her out and checking on her daily?

And shes calling up her ex abusive husband to help her find a condo too, and they went to see their son in the hospital together a few weeks ago and she said her first ex husband brought gifts for her and asked her if she thought about them being back together? My sister said she said NOOOOOOOOO.

Its like she claims all these lacks of feelings for all these guys who are around her and doting on her, yet she is with the bro in law almost daily, even stays over at his house?

And then this crap with my ex?

Sorry it just makes me want to back away….

I think I wrote this once… When my ex and I were married, we went on a little vacation and my sister and her husband watched my kids, when we got back our kids didnt even run to hug us or acknowledge us, they were all hanging on my sister and her husband as if they were their parents. It struck me and my ex as very odd.

My sister is usually the cool one, the one whos fun and lights up a crowd, and always brings the cool gifts for the kids. She even did this when I was a teen.

I dont get her though…………

I dont like being hurt and I think ive put too much of myself into her stuff. Become too involved emotionally, Ive stopped my writing since, and its because I cant even write because real life around here has been better then fiction….

And now Im just wanting to get off this ride….