Rodeo Girl?
Dear Diary,
Morning. Ahh I feel better today! I didnt have the stuff I use on my hair yesterday AM, so I had to improvise, just didnt like the way my hair turned out, you know, the old Bad Hair Day thing? So I went and bought some last night. Im like -150 in my checking, well all the checks havent cleared yet, and my paycheck will be deposited on Thurs at midnite, so just praying I dont bounce anything! Eeeee!
So I made my hair appt, its next tuesday. I have no idea what to do. Im just kinda bored and want to do something different, part of me says cut a couple inches, shorten a few layers, change your hair back to a vibrant brown, etc etc
Im just wanting something different. Ive been coloring it red for the past few yrs, and my natural color is brown, I get a lot of compliments on the red, and that it goes well with my complexion, but I guess its just me, I want something different, so we shall see!
OH! And guess what! I got invited out Sat night! Its my free weekend, and I got asked by gym dude to go with him and the gym bunch to the rodeo Sat nite! So far there are about 4 women and 3 guys invited. And I know all of them. The place where the rodeo is at is also near my house. And they all plan to just go have fun and drink. So if I needed a ride home, a taxi drive would be piece of cake.
We also talked yesterday at the gym about going to the Medieval Times restaraunt in show in LA, and he said he has wanted to do that, rent a limo and everyone go. I said Lets do it! so maybe we will plan it eh!?
It felt so nice to get asked to go out with some people. I didnt say YES in stone Id be there. Im all thinking “Wow, its my weekend with B, what do I tell him? What if he wants to go? Etc etc.” See what I worry about, instead of just saying I have plans I worry about what he will think?? Well reason I do that is because I would get hurt when he didnt invite me along places that were public group stuff. But he didnt complain to me about that right? He also told me Im too available and need to do things right? 🙂 It would just mean Id be leaving him on Sat to go home, and I dont think id be able to drive back out later that nite since we will be drinking.
Oh! And my gym buddy told me which other lady to talk to about my film classes, that one of the ladies is taking one also at the college, might be same one or instructor! And he keeps saying Ohhh you both are dreamers, etc etc, talk to her. As she has a love for Santa Barbara and San Diego like I do.
And I also need to talk to the girls at class tonite about setting up our going out night after our last class. A few girls want to do it, so we only have about 3 weeks I believe left of class.
My kids are out of school around June 20th, and they return back Aug 4. Ex is supposed to have them off and on weeks with me during that time, I wonder if he can pull it off, so Im gonna write him the schedule so he knows to plan a sitter or whatever during his time. Otherwise it will be a hectic break for me with the kids out, and work, and finding help, not sure if my mom will want them that long to babysit. But when they go back they move up to the next grade. Also the after school program they are in is iffy for next school year. They have had a grant sponsored program, and if they dont get another grant, it wont be there. So that will also mean Ill have to either start getting off work earlier, or have a sitter for about an hour every day to pick up kids and be with them till I get home.
Either way, Ill manage.
Talked to B briefly yesterday online and he called me before he went to sleep.
The day I went to Ren Faire, he stopped off to see the guy he was living with prior and buddy, and ended up going to Hollywood for lunch and “Meeting a bunch of people” which Im gathering was a Internet chat room group. I get all grrr inside. But Ive gotta learn to let that stuff go. I get jealous, envious, etc, whatever word it is? Hurt? I dont know.
Also recently a guy I have known online has been chatting with me some, he sent me an email over the holiday weekend that just said HELLO. And then last nite he messaged me saying he had a new pic and did i have one to send?
Anyways, I got the new pic of him, OMGOSH, lol its been awhile, he has his arms all tattooed, sleeved, he shaved off his facial hair, he actually looked younger now to me. See I have met this guy in person. YEARS BACK! Im talking like ohhh, 4-5 yrs ago? And right when my ex and I were splitting up and ex moved out, this is the guy I was really interested in. We were talking on the phone, but he was in AA groups. Said he had an addicted personality and said it wasnt a good idea for us to meet, which my boss wifey told me that was very mature of him to put a halt and know that he was emotionally in a good place for seeing me. And I started to see he had a lot of same traits as my ex, same line of work, both were ADHD.
So anyways, he has since gotten married. But I can tell hes not really into the married thing. I was really shocked he got married to begin with. And he and I have talked about meeting up for lunch.
He also is into film and all that also and took a lot of classes so hes into all that stuff. So its just weird how people crop up. Whats really funny, is well the girl that B used to hang out with, the one that start up that rumor crap our first yr dating and told B I was with this guy I was never with, (for those that remember this) Well this guy dated her briefly, and B said he was very obsessive and wanting to know where she was, so one day B answered the phone for her to tell him off. Ahhh gotta love internet chat room people, its like this big pool of incest, everyone is linked up somehow.
When I last saw that guy it was a picnic at a park where all of us brought our spouses, partners, kids, etc so my ex and kids came. Well this guy hmmm he needs a name. Ill call him Dog. haha dont ask. Anyways, Dog was there and I had been just flirting with him online. I thought he was cute. So I tried talking to him some at the picnic and was kinda eyeing him ( yes while with my hubby) Well I had met B before this a few times. And B showed up to the picnic. I remember it well. He was sitting at a picnic table, in a sleeveless tshirt with a stain on it and some ratty pants. I talked to him some and was sitting by him. Just funny to think back, I was around B, but there just wasnt that draw physically towards him. I liked him and thought he was nice, but I didnt walk away thinking about him. Anyways, that was the day B went to a funeral for a guy that he grew up with that committed suicide. So B said he was just drinking and wasted that day.
Ahhh the old days. Im just so glad B isnt drinking like that anymore. Its all he used to do back in the old days before we ever hooked up.
Well thats it for now, Laterrrrr