Sad and Lonely

Dear Diary,

Its about 11pm Friday. Im sad again.

I miss B. I miss being with him. I get sad. I get sad that all week I dont hear “I cant wait to see you again, Im gonna come over, etc”

When its my weekend with the kids, I wish he was here, I wish he came out on Friday is all. I just get so sad, I have laid in bed for hours.

He got in tonight, said he was going to the bathroom and downloading some MP3’s, and that was it. I dont call him. Im trying to just back off.

Its not that theres something going on negative between us, its just I want him around, and hes not, and I long for it, and its hard for me, and its times where I think how long can I do this? When will things be different?

Then Im scared to death to even think of life without B.

So Im just emotional. Im lonely right now. 🙁

I hate this.

God Im just bawling right now.

I have the news on in the background, and some men have returned from the war, they said what they were and where they came from. Thats where Military Dude was from. I was glued to the TV as they were showing the men to see if I could see him, but I didnt, when I spoke to him over a week ago he said he may be coming home soon or else staying but he wasnt sure. So I wonder if he came back you know?

So I just needed to write, let out my loneliness and sadness, I miss having the person I love to come home too and snuggle up with. I miss weekends with the love of my life. I can deal better for some reason during the week days. But the weekends are harder.

Waaaaaaaaaa