Day of B and C

Dear Diary,

WOW! WOW! What a SUNDAY!

I swear at times my life would make great TV Drama.

So I got to sleep about 4am, woke up about 9am. Got up and went on the computer. Hoping to have had some email from B saying he was sorry about the night before or anything. But there was nothing(see last entry for what happened)So Mr C called around 10am and was then on his way out to pick me and the kids up for the day.

Around 12:30pm he arrived. We all loaded in and the kids were quite excited. We then went to IHOP in town for breakfast, we were STARVING!!! Well Im about 15 minutes into being there and my cell phone rings. I dont get a lot of calls, especially on weekends on my cell. Its normally these days Mr C who rings me on it. But I was with him, so I pulled my phone out, it was a local number but I didnt recognize it, so I answer at my table in IHOP. Its B! “Hi Victoria” Im like “Hello?” I said I was in a restaraunt and could I call him after I was done eating. He said sure. I said “Where are you at?” He said “Im just somewhere, just page me when your done” I said ok, And Mr C looked and me and mouthed “Was it B?” I said yes. I was kinda shocked. He then says “Well has he ever just shown up before?” I said NO? He said “Well I think hes here” I was like WOW. After a year and a half dating B he has never just come out to see me. And I tried calling the number back gathering it was a pay phone and a local number. So that was really a strange feeling. But I kept telling myself to go enjoy my day.

Mr C is a very fun person, and he can be silly and have fun with the kids, hes very attentive to them actually.

So I called B after the meal, waited, no response, so we just got on the freeway to head out of town with Mr C. Well my phone goes off then. I answer and its B again and I said “Whats up?” He basically said he came down to see me, I said I had made other plans and he said he understood. He said “So whats up?” I responded “Well, I dont know what to say to you, I have told you how I felt, you were the one who said last night, fuck it I quit, so what am I supposed to say?” He silently said “Yeah” I told him I would be gone for the day and would he like me to call him later. He said “Well do you want to call me?” I said Yeah Ill call you later.

And that was it, I looked at Mr C and said “Hes in town” so he said “Want me to take you back?” I said no. He said “Victoria, you guys have things to settle, why dont you go?” I said “C, and what show him its ok to treat me this way and I will always be ready open arms waiting to see him, what does this show him? We teach others how to treat us. I sit home every day waiting for things to happen with him, so I finally make plans for myself and THEN he decides to show up? Besides my kids are excited about today, Im not gonna take them back to sit around so B and I can talk.” I asked Mr C if he was ok, he said that the situation was a bit strange. I said “Its ok if you are uncomfortable, we dont have to go and Im totally ok with that” He said “No I hear you” So we went along for our day. He said “Today is about fun and the kids” and so he then said we were going to the movies. We went to Simi Valley and watched Stuart Little 2. And he called up B the woman hes been going thru a similar type situation with and her son and had them meet us there for the movie. And he paid for ALL of us. He said “well today you get to meet my B.” It was interesting and a bit odd I must say, but it all went fine. She wasnt what I expected. I had seen a pic of her and her son asleep on the couch but she looked totally different. Yes Im a chick sizing up another. haha. But she wasnt small, she had very fried blonde hair. And her son was quite hyper and loud. Mr C had told me the child has a lot of anger and is different then my kids, and he said to me “Im ready to put it all out there, sure this is weird, but its supposed to be, maybe its a reality wake up call for all of us, that we are all just human. I think you and my B would actually get along great, she has been thru an abusive relationship and is dealing with the father of her child, she also just went on medication and Im concerned about her. Just as you say you love things about B and there are wonderful parts, I feel the same way about her and her son” So we all went to see the movie, my kids all sat on her end with her son. And then they played some video games afterwards, I chatted with her briefly but it just wasnt enough time to really get into much, she was nice though. And then he invited them to come swimming with us but she declined and her son got all sad and walked away pouting and I noticed Mr C felt horrible. It was interesting to watch, he has told me he feels hes being used as a father figure to her son, but she doesnt want to be with him in a “relationship” sense. She just wants buddies. So I kinda noticed this play on guilt she did with him, and her son did it also. And how he felt so bad and was over trying to console and make good with everyone, me and my kids went and waited over to the side. He came back to us and said he felt terrible for saying something about the pool and the boy being all upset he couldnt go.

So we talked some on the way out. After listening I told Mr C the whole relationship sounds like hes been used in many ways. He lent her $1000 at the holidays, she was seeing some other guy behind his back and then he found out once she moved in with him! Eeeks. He came to see her on Valentines day with flowers and all and her car wasnt home so he called her and thats when she cried and told him what was up. So he was hurt. Well turned out the new guy got violent on her, and Mr C had a friend do a background check and the guy had a record with domestic violence. Well I guess that scared her to leave, and she came back to Mr C. But he said things havent been the same since, mainly all the physical aspect is gone. He said there dates or time together centered around her son. How he was just there so he poured a lot into her son also. He said “Dont get me wrong, I love the kid and think its great, but Victoria, they would come to my place hang out, watch movies, and shed snuggle with her son, and Id be over on the other side of the couch alone.

He is very protective and watchful, got up to walk my kids to the bathrooms, got them snacks during the movie at one point and I didnt ask him to nor did I plan to get any.

He taught them how to use his digital camera and let them take pictures,

Well now we headed out to his place to swim. THe kids liked the place, we spend quite awhile at the pool, actually longer then I cared for, but it was ok. He worked with my kids on learning to swim. He played Crab monster in the pool with them. He spent a lot of time and attention with them and I just smiled and watched. I met his neighbors in the building. I kept getting into curly hair discussions over my hair. The people here are upper class, but actually very very friendly and nice to talk to. They all were complementing Mr C on his roses that he brought to the place. They were just gorgeous. He had about 6 different planters with roses. One growing so huge it was taller then us! With gorgeous peach roses. And he was giving some of his secrets away on how to grow them but then we told her to go and smell them, they smell SOOO wonderful.

A girl in the pool called Mr C my boys dad. The kids just responded “hes not my dad, thats my moms friend” We also had a talk after IHOP earlier because my little one wanted to know if Mr C was my boyfriend. I told him he was my friend but not my boyfriend. That I didnt have a boyfriend right now, but I explained how he and B are my friends.

The other weird aspect was my kids kept calling Mr C, by B’s name. They must have done it about 10 times. They talked about where B lives, and said that Mr C and him looked alike(because they both have shaved heads is all)

We then headed back to Mr Cs place, he put on Spy Kids for the children to watch so they were quite excited. At one point Mr C kissed me in the bathroom as they were away, very quickly, but my oldest was behind him, I didnt think he saw us, but Mr C said “Oh yeah he did” the kids were curious about his place and walking all through, so I really dont know if my oldest saw the kiss or not.

He then made some fresh carrot juice and my little one was all excited to watch him use the juicer and try it, And he liked it, hes my little eater, my other one didnt care for it and they got me to try it, eh it was ok LOL.

We all then sat on the couch, the kids next to Mr C watching the movie, and he put a pillow down and I laid my head on it on his lap. He twirled his fingers thru my hair a little, and I just said “Victoria, its ok, just relax” I have tried to hide all signs of affection from my kids, it was nothing inappropriate, so i just left it alone. I closed my eyes and relaxed, it was strangely nice. I kept thinking about how Mr C would make a great father, how good he is, how relaxed we all are with him. How things just flow, how its not been very long but why is it things feel so comfortable?

It was 9pm at this point, the kids handnt eaten dinner and I also needed to get back home so we opted to picking up happy meals and getting on the road. He brought his lap top so the kids got to watch the movie on the way home. After it was over they fell asleep. Mr C and I just held hands and talked. He talked some more about his B, I said “I feel like your farther along with getting detached from her then I am with B” He said “No Victoria, I think we are the same, I love her and there are great things about her, I keep thinking if she and I were to give it a shot, there would have to be definate changes, I mean think about it, the minute your or my B see us pulling away, here they are saying they want another shot, My B did this to me last week after I told her I was dating you. He said ” I think our others are finally getting to see the outcome of what they have created, and they dont like it, but its a wake up call, and personally Victoria, I like it that you and I have found each other”

He then felt weird and said he had said to much about his B. I said “I understand totally, its really ok with me, I think its what is so strange about this situation is that we can totally relate to eachother and understand and not freak out” He said “Really? You really mean that? And he kissed my hand and said “You have no idea how much that means to me you said that”

He carried my little one to his bed. And then we sat in the front room. His B called and they chatted briefly. Well when we pulled up to my house at 11pm. There was one of my chairs under the tree? I went “that wasnt there, B must have put it there when he came to see me” And then I opened the front door and there was something inside the screen. It was a note from B, Inside was a CD he made of Tori Amos for me.

B’s letter said..

“Hey, I came up here to give you the CD I made for you the other night after we talked. I hope that you like it. I know that I said a lot of things last night, but I dont think online was the place to have spoken. We will talk later hopefully, I hope that you have had a good day out. I know it doesnt sound like much sometimes, but for all its worth, I do love you. I dont understand you sometimes. I am sorry if I said anything particularly hurtful last night. I am or was trying to make it up to you somehow, but I just dont know. I hope this finds you well, Love B”

So I sat there on the couch for about an hour with Mr C, snuggled up. I told him he would have to leave and he said he planned on it. We did actually fall asleep at one point but the dog barked and it startled him awake. He said “I have a bad feeling, he wasnt online when you got in tonight, what if he comes back over?” I shrugged. We laid there, we kissed and showed affection, very tender and soft sort of face nose, just touching.

We then got into some other discussions, and at one point I noticed his touch when were kissing was a little rough, I made sure to tell him right away, “softer” or dont do that. and he did listen. But as I have written before. Im not fully aware of this mans physical sexual behavior. And I guess thats the one part that kinda makes me not totally gung ho into jumping into this with him. He told me how sexy I was looking and he really needed to go, so we got to the doorway and he said “Woman you have no idea how badly I want you, when you are ready you give me the go ahead, but you remember, when it happens, YOU ARE SOOOOO In trouble” he said it in a nice way, and I smiled. We hugged and said goodbye. He was wearing this really nice curdoroy type button up shirt, and I told him how handsome he looked. We then said goodbye.

It was about 12:30am now, and I wondered if I should call B. I wanted to, at one point while laying there with Mr C I just was ready for him to leave. And honestly was wanting to hear what B had to say, what was going on with him.

So I paged him to see if he was awake. Well he did call me, and we taled till about 2:30 am.

I need to take a break from writing. But he and I did have a good talk, talked about what is lacking between us, why has it been lacking, how we both love eachother but why isnt it working? I told him I was cautious about him, and I wasnt ready to just jump right back in, that I dont really know how to do this, that I am afraid of being hurt. I also said “You told me to tell u if I want to date others, and I have” he said “Ok just be honest with me”

Ill write more later, but I did tell him me and the kids spent the day with Mr C and he did listen and didnt get upset or anything.

More later