Ok My Friends are Delusional!

Dear Diary,

Ok so my friend D just calls me and says “Hey I just found this rental just around the corner from my sisters house, Im gonna go check it out. Its a 2 bedroom with a yard. My friend said the courts are gonna look at if I have a place and a room for the kids, that that will look better.”

Im like “Yes that is true” BUT

She tells me the rent is $1,100! Im like HELLO????? Whats she thinking? Shes telling me she makes about $300 a week right now or so.

Im telling her I agree with her, but she had to get herself into a place to be able afford that. And she needs pay stubs, proof of income. Which she doesnt have right now. And security deposit, and often times they want you to make 3x what the rent is. Umm HELLO??

Im trying to tell her all this, and shes like “I know I just will do whatever it takes to get my kids” And then shes talking about ONCE she gets child support and spousal. Which yes later she will get support payments and she should get her portion of the house money. But that can be who knows when? And right now she wont get any child support, he has the upper hand here, they live with him.

So then shes all “Well maybe i can go and rent the house with my boyfriend both our incomes”

And Im just sitting here thinking????? What the hell? She just told me this AM she needs to be on her own and hes obsessive about her. Shes all “Oh well maybe he can just help me to sign” Im like “D, they have to review his credit, put him on the agreement, it will be his place too, and if it were just you, what you do there affects his credit” Then she tells me he has a foreclosure.

So Im just listening to her. And I love her dont get me wrong, but shes flipping all over the place. She has no real direction or plan, she says she wants her kids, I dunno, guess from my angle Im over here going. MAKE SOME DAMN MONEY FIRST!

Id work my ass off all around the clock, get a decent attny, rent out a room while I get my finances in order and save to get a place. Sure she wants a place now for her kids, but you also have to be realistic.

And the boyfriend thing, its gotta go, living with him, thats gonna harm her. Cause he will be around the kids,I dunno. Shes like 40 something, a very beautiful and creative woman, but at the same time shes so naive and has been sheltered for so long perhaps? I really dont know, but shes so flighty I dont trust any of her decisions. So not sure if she will still come over, I still wouldnt mind but I think Im really gonna put it to her.

Sigh,

Its time like this where B is awesome, how I wish he were there with me to talk to her. I get quiet often times, and dont like to challange people or combat what they are saying, but I did today with her. Because well, she has great ideas, but you need a plan and the means to implement them. Its as if she sucks in every bit of advice shes getting and runs with it. This AM shes all “My friend said I should get a place by the daughters school” Im like “D, as long as your in town I wouldnt worry about it ok?” The school is a private school on the expensive side of town, be realistic ok?

I dunno, guess its frustrating to watch your friend make her own train wreck, yet at the same time. I know we often learn the hard way. We have to or else we wont learn valuable lessons, and she has to experience life and truly see whats out there to get her head on straight. Just makes me sad, ya just wanna spare someone from the heartaches. But you can only do so much,

Later