IM MAD

Dear Diary,

Ok I feel like crying. My eyes keep getting watery.

And Im angry right now.

Music dude signs on, says “Im better today, and thank you” to me. Im all “Cool” then he proceeds to tell me “I went out at 11pm last night,to the club, partied, then was out at Dennys until 5am with friends” I was just sitting there a lil hurt. I mean heck he invites me out, says we will go do a few things, I say cool. I drive an hour and a half to meet him. He then tells me hes a mess, that he was gonna cancel on me. Apologizes hes poor company. blah blah blah. Then I tell him if he wants to go home I understand. He says he wants to take his meds and crawl in bed.

I did notice he was talking about how maybe he just needs to HOOKUP during dinner. But he plays the whole nice guy, no I guess I dont need that, it doesnt help matters type nice guy speech.

And when I left, here it is about 8:30 and its dark and he doesnt even make sure I get in my car safe. Hes driving off before I even open my door. That irked me.

So yeah Im pissed off. Did he just meet up hoping to get something and saw I wasnt gonna provide that??? Then its hard for me to believe that about him, as much as he and I talk. Either way, Im ticked. I didnt need to hear how he went out last night after I drove all the way out and would have loved to have gone out too like that!

I swear, no wonder I freakin get a complex that people dont want to hang with me,

Its like are people all so fuckin self absorbed and destructive??????????

Here Im jolted from an eve with him cause Im not gonna hook up cause perhaps I have some type of a conscience.

B says he doesnt want me in Vegas, plans to be so drunk that the weekend will be a blur.

And Im the goody girl on the side lines.

Im so mad!!!!