My Trip

Dear Diary,

Well that was a pain. My friend M interrupts me wanting to talk, basically vents whats up and goes on a long tirade about the woman hes dating then finishes and says Bye before I can even respond. Weird.

I reread my last entry and it looks so jumbled. What I was saying was C and my ex had a talk about 6 yrs ago about having conflicted feelings sexually about men. And C had shared about being attracted to my ex’s new woman’s cousin( you follow here? ) My God its like see what I mean? My Ex moves across the US, chooses to see a woman here I know, and her family and all our core group of friends are so intertwined.

But my ex has a history also, if he wants to throw out things about peoples past, well then he has to realize the context and his part in all of them. My ex confessed some questionable behaviors to C that night also. So if one wanted to get technical. None of them should be around the kids.

But matter at hand is my in law, my in law is doing things WITH my children and saying things that are questionable. This isnt pulling up some past convo of 6 yrs ago and applying it to a person NOW when it has nothing to do with anything going on. Hell then nobody could be around the kids cause we all have a past with something not pretty.

So anyways, My weekend was nice. Some communication bumps on the way with B. Nothing overly terrible. All scenarios were talked through. Which I find I am able to speak up and say how I feel to B, and want to, and make sure that I do so. Its something about our communication with decision making. Its been a source of friction. But Ill type that later. its trying to take someone who is extremely indifferent and passive, and then placing me with them when my ex made so many decisions and plans, now Im in the forefront and its not comfortable and Im with someone who just wants to sick back and says ” I dont care” most of the time, but it doesnt flow well. So we have to find some new tools to handle this between us.

B didnt pay to go to the convention so stayed in the hotel during my time there, but he and I went out at night. We went to Downtown Disney 2 nights. It was quite nice!

We ate together, held hands, walked around, talked and laughed and kissed. We ate desserts, mmmm. But the best part was he took me to “Build a Bear” If anyone knows me from my writings. I have wanted something cuddly from B, Hes not big on those types of gifts and i have so wanted something to snuggle at night from him. So he walks over and says he wants to look. Plus B can be cheap when it comes to things, the one thing he will spend money on is good food, but anything else forget it. So we are just looking at the bears and he says “Do you want one?” And so I picked out a bear, he stuffed it, did the cute little choice of a heart and bit the girl had him do, haha rubbing it in his hands, placing it on his head, kissing it and saying MUAH! Then B had to pump the fluff into the bear, then clean off all the fuzzy stuff in the bear shower. HAHA this place is too cute if you have never been to one! Next we picked out clothes. I just picked a bear of underwear bear briefs, they are adorable. Then we went to the computers where B inserted all our info and named the Bear and they printed out a book for us to take home, and put our Bear “Cornelius” in a box to take home. HAHA, yes B named him Cornelius! I was laughing cause he kept making a joke saying hed have to name his kid that if he ever had one, and now we have a bear offspring! 🙂

OHHH! And the best part, you can choose a sound for your bear, a button inside, you can pick from all these prerecorded phrases or songs, or make your own. B wanted to make his own, so he went away from me to record it so I wouldnt hear. I didnt get to hear it till later as we were walking Downtown Disney. He then asked me to sit down and pulled out the Bear Book, it was so adorable the story, I wanted to cry, then he pulled the bear out so I could squeeze his paw, And it says “Hi Baby, Dont forget I love you” in B’s sexy man voice. I was all emotional and happy and touched. I figured hed record some smart ass comment to be silly. But he did something so sweet.

So Cornelius slept with us last night, he rode in my lap home today and B told me to buckle him in as I left dropping off B today. It was cute.

The conference was fun, I got chased by older men though. That was interesting, flattering yes, but weird. I had some guy over 50 buy me wine, haha I took it but he acted like he owned me so I had to ditch him at one point. Next night I had a guy approach me at the bar and said he saw me the night before and was really fun and friendly and took me to a table with this other woman and his son. Fun people, but a bit out there. Basically the guy wanted to hook up, he was from NJ. He was dang annoying and pushy, wanting me to go out with them that night and ditch B. Im like yeah right!!! He showed up again and was all around me until I left today. I had older men saying I was pretty, wanting a hug in exchange for this event we were playing and needed to acquire and search for these collectible cards at the convention, so I of course pimped myself of hugs from one guy for each card! lol

It was interesting how men can act at a Convention, eeeks, Its kinda gross and scary you ask me. Lots of men looking to “Hook up”

ok my wrist hurts, gotta go